Now let's get to my favorite subject...."ME". Let's set the ground rules first...
1)Vacations will be separate..me in the Caribbean with girlfriends, you on the Skytrain to Surrey with a bagged lunch, if Surrey doesn't suit your fancy you can always opt for the Greyhound to Richmond.
2) Sex will be once a month, missionary position only (don't mess my hair)if you happen to be out of town or sick on "the" day there's always next month!
3)My 2 daughters always come first, if you've happened to reproduce then I guess your little darlings can come for a holiday or two.(Halloween and Canada Day..ok maybe this one is a little harsh even for a joke)
4)I don't like to cook so I'll expect you home promptly to make my meals for me...yea you guessed it....dishes and laundry is out also, but I'll allow you to use my hand lotion so you don't get dish pan hands. (I hate rough hands when you are rubbing my feet every night)
5) Toilet seats will be nailed down so you better practice your aim!!
6)Toilet paper rolled under not over (this could be a deal breaker)
7)Toothpaste squeezed from the bottom, not top or middle.(This of course is having high expectations..you have teeth) Tooth paste is to be white and pasty not blue and gelly.
8)If you wear or even have a trace of Speedo lint in your dresser we probably won't get along..Speedos are JUST WRONG!!
9) Combovers don't do it for me either, bald is in, combovers not.. so much!!
10) I don't drink coffee, I don't even like the smell of coffee, as a matter of fact I drive by and snicker at all you coffee addicts in the line at Timmies, now that I think of it, I don't even like the name "Timmy"!!
11) Socks with sandals....tsk tsk......that doesnt fly either.
12) If you still take your laundry to your Moms for her to do. (especially if she's in a home)not good!
13) Dont say in your profile ...."friends say I look 10 yrs younger than I am...helloooo, they say that because **THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS** thats the definition of friend THEY FIB!!!!

And about that scratching/rubbing/relocating...is all that necessary? "It" isn't going anywhere!

I do have ground rules 14-750 but I'll save those for the first date.
I'm not going for quantity favorites, my ego doesnt need me too have 500 men on my favorites list, I prefer quality to quantity! I also prefer someone to at least say hello in a message or IM before they add me to their favorites...silly I know but one of my pet peeves! Now that we have all this straightened out....bet you're shocked Im single!! lol
P.S. I love the guys that send me hate messages because they actually dont "get" my humour!! Imagine!!!!!
P.P.S Hopefully you'll be a red wine drinker so I dont have to share my bottle of white!
P.P.P.S Whats with BC guys and their Motorbikes, mannnnn if I was looking to date a Motorcycle I'd have too many choices..and whose to say we women don't like Vespa guys, you know compact yet easy on gas but still a little fun. It's not all about size...well at least not when it comes to bikes!! (The other....the jury is still out)

All joking aside..what I'm looking for is that someone.....who sits beside me on the porch swing...never says a word............yet when he gets up and leaves... I feel like we just had the best conversation ever!

Hmmmm, first date....well if it were summer I'd allow you to carry my golfclubs and clean my ball, if the Marshall isn't around I'll allow you to hit a ball or two as long as you don't hold up play. If you arent a golfer then Id take you to the squash court and you can stand at the "T" and see how close I can come to hitting down the middle without actually hitting you....I like to call this my "Red Dot" drill. Not to worry, the swelling and the welts go down after a week or two..... Then of course we discuss ground rules 14-250! So who's up for a date? Married men need not apply,you already get sex every second month!!! Not into BoyToys either, sorry.


-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
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---|||---|||---account If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
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Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Must not smoke