I am a greasy, bare-chested douchebag, completely self-absorbed with little or no redeeming qualities. I have an iPhone. Hit yes! I’m a selfish prick. Good-looking. Successful. Thin. Toned body. Young enough to do it and old enough to do it right. I don’t smoke. I’m lots of fun. I don’t have time for petty drama or emotional hysterics. I am intelligent and well-educated. I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me. I do what I want. When I want. And you probably figured that out already. BTW...I'm a talent agent looking for....TALENT.
I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we’re lucky - both!

How about I roll you up in a carpet and ship you to Greece? We could drive scooters through the countryside drinking wine and eating cheese, dress up in costumes, paint the sea and film the whole thing! I will make you my Mediterranean princess haha!