If you don't see the obvious humor in my diatribe below, then never mind, nothing to see here folks, just keep moving along. I've had my tongue piercing for well over a decade, a nice slave ring in need of a good workout. I'm looking for casual sex with no strings attached, discreet encounters if needed on your part, married women, bisexual women in female relationships or couples whose partners want to watch their wives or girlfriends with another straight male. If I could meet a woman with any of the attributes as digitally penned below, who appreciated the twisted humor of my musings and wanted to be my swing partner, then it would be a good day. I am drug/disease free.

I appreciate bizarrely-humored, quick-witted intelligent women, one who will be an accomplice, my conspirator in kind that will challenge each other's cognitive dissonance in how the world actually is, not perceived, no matter what your age on this mortal coil - and on a lighter methane note, one who obviously eats beans, a real girl. I am of of ancient Spartan decent, having a soft spot for real academics of the XX homogametic sex chromosome type who like bizarre topics of dialogue and can hold a conversation - ie., discussions of the 6000 yr. old "Epic of Gilgamesh" and other ancient Sumerian mythos, Plasma Cosmology and forbidden archeology to understanding secret societies with their penchant for intelligence agency ties, whilst being plied and covered completely naked with extra virgin olive oil (I pressed it myself), lightly accented with saffron, role-playing out a sex scene from a cooking show set that should be shown on TV, making all of those programs easier to watch). Cooking shows should involve great sex - they have all of the makings for it!

Not a description of a first date, but more about the type of women I enjoy...

You are young, or older and experienced in life, ranging from naïve librarians/soccer moms to gassy granola vegetarian hikers, Capital Hill interns just off the farm, a heavily tattooed/pierced grunge b*tch to a classic pale goth girl with heavily lined eyes of dark depression parading as mascara, to a most-of-the-time lesbian in a long term relationship, there is something any one of you have to offer. But, my Achilles heel is, and forever will be, Redheads with freckles! If you just walked off the set of an Irish Spring commercial with a flowing mane of red locks after carving out a piece of that horrible bar of soap for the camera in that wool turtle neck with a slight accent to your dialect, made up or not, I'd be like melted buttah in your hands.

You read a lot (and I don't mean fashion magazines that tell you to "keep your hair shiny and your ass tiny"), have an insatiable appetite for unknown knowledge, but not mainstream educational sources, questioning everything you here until vetted to your satisfaction. You realize that religion is man-made and has been used as a control mechanism by power hungry people to get the sheeple to fall into line. You believe in the good of people, but at the same time don't trust your government and their pathological lying. You enjoy eclectic social situations, understand all wars are lies and made for profiteering of the elites who send a nation's poor to fight and die against other nation's poor, enjoy pounding the pavement of cities like Manhattan or Prague, and have a libido that won't quit and know what you want sexually.