I am discovering that I need to write my own rules - and follow them. I often have done things differently, but have sometimes battled the societal hypnosis of what "should" be. I am clear that I love being in a relationship, and I love what it brings out in me. I love who I am when I am with someone I care about. I know nothing is perfect, and I don't expect it to be. However, at this point in my awareness and life what I do expect is that I will stay as conscious as I am able of what is going on with me in relation to what I feel and why I feel it. I have discovered that most things are not what they seem, and often have nothing to do with the person they seem to have to do with.

I am open to meeting someone who wants to embrace all that I am (and of course the same holds true in reverse), and the love I have to offer, and trust that it will be returned with an equally open and willing heart (or at the very least one willing to explore the possibilities of being open and willing). There are parts of me that aren't as aware and enthusiastic, and at times it is a little difficult to be so optimistic. However, without optimism and love, what is there (silly question perhaps for some of you reading this - after all, what is sex, minced meat, lol)?

I recently heard something that made a lot of sense to me. The essence was that no one has it all together perfectly, and that we don't have to wait to be "perfect" to be in a relationship. We can make a relationship as good as possible by being aware that there are unacknowledged wounds, and be willing to communicate who we are, and address the issues we are aware of, and at the same time trust that the person we are with will love and respect who we are, and where we are. Then, pretty much anything is possible.

I'd say that would go for anyone we relate to, not just a significant other. If you agree, perhaps I will hear from you.

I also believe that love is in its purest form something that can be shared with anyone. Anyone who is in my life is in my life because I have a feeling of love for them, and that means men, married and single. I have learned that it isn't love that hurts, but the things we seek to attach to it as a way of creating meaning. I know it's unusual (and likely rare) that anyone would believe this...welcome to my world.

Have a great day!

PS If you are under the age of 28 (an arbitrary number on my part, granted), please contact me only if you are looking for a friend (not friends with benefits). I am uninterested in a relationship with anyone who is not in the same (or at least similar) place as I am. I know that everyone is unique, and may have a lot to offer, so that isn't the issue. Things that are a little more difficult to describe are...for instance, being told by a 23 year old that I should go seek out a "crusty old man" after I said I wasn't interested in more than conversation and being friendly. If he was truly interested in friends (as he said he was) he would have continued chatting, instead he abruptly ended our conversation. In addition, one day he, too, will be a "crusty old man," (if he's lucky) and there is perspective there that (in my mind) gets in the way of anything he might be able to offer in terms of a relationship. I like to think I have an open mind, so you could prove me wrong. However, it would take a pretty special person and attitude to convince me otherwise.