A gentleman wrote to me saying that for the past several years I've, at one time or another, complained that this site is useless......and, as a dating site, at several points in my membership, it HAS been useless. *LOL* But, as a POF party events hostess, it's been a gold mine for finding friends. I enjoy hosting the parties and picnics, even though sometimes I have to back away for a bit because it gets to be overwhelming.

I think POF really IS helping people to find partners.....and I'm doing my part by having the parties so people can meet in a public place and in a crowd....so that IF the connection....the SPARK....isn't there, they can walk away without guilt...without feeling awkward.

And, who knows.....maybe someday my soulmate will sign up on POF and find me!!! *LOL*









Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...........
..........it's about learning to dance in the rain.........
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I have to add this in here because of the number of emails I've been getting from men who live in other cities and/or states.....I hope you don't think I'm horrible but I will not travel to meet someone. I won't drive more than 15 miles to meet a potential date. I do drive 25 miles to do the parties at one of my venues but that is an exception to my travel rules. Sorry.




Why do so many people put so much importance on smiling?...I smile...barely...when I'm happy...but it shouldn't be a requirement...just an option. I laugh a LOT...but smiling is something I only do when it's truly deserved.


OK.....I've been used and abused....lied to....lied ABOUT.....right now my heart and my pride are bruised and on shaky ground......BUT.....like the legendary Phoenix from which I take my name, I am going to re-invent myself.....right here and now!.....I WILL come out of this a winner.....or at the very least as an equal in a (hopefully) loving relationship.


This profile may not bring me my soul mate but it can't do any worse than the one before it. *S*


It seems that everyone on here is looking for their "perfect mate"....face it boys and girls....perfection is a myth. *S* The only way to find any semblance of it is if we re-define perfection.....or lower our standards a notch or three. *LOL*


I felt like I had to add something here.....after running into this problem countless times on here......I just have to ask.....why are people so touchy and pissy all the time?......sometimes people will ask me my name and when I tell them that I don't give out my real name online, they get defensive and pissed off....like I'm supposed to automatically trust them because, in their own words....."I'm a nice guy...."......well, maybe you are...but I don't know that for a fact. And, if you've ever been stalked, you'd know why I refuse to use my legal name online. It's scary and NOT something I want to ever go through again. So, please.....if you want to get to know me, then put up with the alias until we DO know each other, ok?


I've had so many profiles on here...changing them as the dynamics of my life have been altered by people I've met and events that changed me forever...some good and some bad...I've been the demure school marm...the tireless party animal...the freak du' jour...but under it all, I've always been me...the lonely little girl looking for love and passion...and the best friend/lover that has eluded her for quite some time.

Underneath the sometimes brash exterior lies a heart in need of mending...a soul in need of companionship...if I sometimes come off as blase'...as if I really don't give a flying f...uhm...flip *LOL*...well, believe me, it's all an act.

I've been looking for my soulmate all my life...I got sidetracked by lust disguised as love a couple of times...but now I want the whole enchilada...I want a man who is strong enough to take me at my worst...because in the immortal words of Marilyn Monroe..."If you can't take me at my worst...you don't deserve me at my best".


I'm a Scorpio...which has many connotations...I've read many books on astrology and according to them Scorpios are passionate...fiery...loyal...I know there are some negative connotations in there also but those don't pertain to me. *LOL*


I have many many sides to me...I'm a loyal friend, a devoted companion (read "one-man-woman here *S*)...I do some writing...I'm an ardent reader, explorer of words and expressions, consummate fan of certain authors...sleuth of definitions (I actually read the dictionary *LOL*)...I've been told that I sound like a snooty snob sometimes because I use "difficult" words...NOT TRUE!!!...I just LOVE words! I don't discriminate between over-educated people and high school drop outs...I like everyone. *S*


PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING VERY CAREFULLY!!!!!

OK....now for the downside. *LOL*.....I'm a big girl. I'm slowly downsizing...in a GOOD way!!! *LOL* All this dancing and carousing is a BIG help in that department. But.....if you ain't into big girls, then please keep on truckin'. I've been hurt too many times by guys who THOUGHT they were into me but, as it turns out, I was more into them. *LOL* Sounds complicated but it's not. Just trying to keep my heart safe while the body plays.

AND THIS, ALSO, PLEASE!!!

See that "age" category up there by my name and picture????....That says....57.....that's FIFTY SEVEN!!!.....please do NOT ask to meet me then be surprised that I'm NOT 37!!!!! I clearly state my age!!! Please read it!!!



The 3 pictures of me with darker hair were taken in Dec. 2007.....the body shot with the yellow teeshirt was taken in Sept. 2008. The ones in the Mexican restaurant were taken in June 2009.


Let's see....what else.....I like men in general but I REALLY like BIG guys. Tall guys. A man with some meat on his bones. Long hair, no hair, somewhere in between....I don't care. *S*


I love many different kinds of music and I change my preferrences when something catches my attention. Right now I'm really into heavy metal bands. But I do listen to others. My favorite performer of all time is Ronnie James Dio. The man is a GOD!!! *LOL* You can check out my "m y s p a c e" if you'd like.... it's under phoenixwych and my facebook is under the same name

I wouldn't consider a first meeting to be a first date.

A first date would come AFTER the first meeting....because it's the first meeting that lets you learn each others preferrences and be able to make a choice for a first date where you'll both be comfortable.


Meeting at a coffee shop can get expensive. Restaurants are nice, even if it's just for a cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea. *S* The beach is always a nice inexpensive meeting place, too.



I don't know how most people feel about getting to know each other but I do know that I can express myself much better with the written word than by talking about myself. And personally, rather than just guessing what the other person wants to know about me, I'd rather answer questions directly asked than take a stab at what I think you may be interested in knowing. *S* So, if you want to know anything about me, just ask and I will answer if I can. *S*