Warning! Proceed with extreme caution! This man has been known to cause spontaneous jets of liquid matter to shoot through nostrils while drinking. Not very attractive but always funny.

Now back to the deep stuff:

I'm a dichotomy: I'm silly and sarcastic, yet serious. Happy and sad. Optomistic about the future yet pessimistic that everything remains the same. Most of all, I'm a comedian. I like to laugh and make others around me smile and laugh as much as possible.

46 FACTS ABOUT ME!

I'm very, very sarcastic. Hope you can keep up. Did I mention that I am sarcastic?

I live to help others...it makes me feel good.

I want to experience everything in life but usually will put it off till tomorrow.

I take pride in my appearance. I try to stay fit, look groomed and smell delicious. Don't worry. I don't want to look prettier than you and I only take 15 minutes to get ready.

I look at most people my age and think that they're "old". I don't think I'll ever be mentally older than 29.

I grew up riding horses and love riding motorcycles.

I love to learn about everyone I meet and analyze them to what makes them unique.

I'm curious like a 4 year old and want to learn about everything. Googling is great!

I love music. I can listen to everything from Pop, to Rock, Country to Classical. All depends what my mood is.

History channel, Discovery, A&E, Food Network, and Animal Planet are some of my faves.

I have a lot of friends that I socialize with.

Poor spelling and bad grammar annoys me.

Physical chemistry is important to me but inner beauty is what makes someone truly beautiful. There are a lot of ugly beautiful people out there!

I enjoy stupid comedies.

I laugh when people fall or do something stupid but feel bad afterwards.

I get annoyed with stupid, selfish and "closed-minded" people.

I'm creative and am always thinking about new business ideas or ways to make the world better.

I'm slightly unorganized.

I'm a good cook but hate cooking just for myself.

I believe in chivalry. I open car doors and throw myself down on puddles for you to walk over. J/K about the puddles, relax!

I smile at funerals because I know those who pass on are happier.

I'm a great handyman.

I like to dance.

I love to give hugs and really like to snuggle!

I'm very laid back but if I'm pushed long enough, watch out! I have too much respect for myself to be anyones doormat.

I don't chase. After two phone calls I'm not calling back so I hope you're not in the hospital.

I'm really good at poker and I won't purposely lose to you. Sorry. :)

I'm loyal to a fault. I'm a true friend.

I give great advice yet I make the same mistakes.

I'm shy until you get to know me or if I have a few drinks.

I'll try any type of food as long as it won't kill me. :)

I'm sexual yet a prude. Unlike most men, I'm picky with whom I choose to be with.

I want to travel the world and meet people from every different culture.

I love happy hours and vacations.

I'm a coffee fiend and I love sushi.

I'm a Clyde searching for a Bonnie. (I'm not looking to take down any banks with you though unless you're 100% sure we can get away with it. j/k )

I love to sleep but usually only get about 6 hours a night.

I'm a hard worker and take pride in whatever i do.

I try to find the best in everyone. I'm compassionate.

I have morals and I try to follow the Golden Rule.

Dope is for dopes and smoking stinks. Although the majority of my friends smoke.

I'm very intelligent but not geeky. I have a plethora of useless information.

I'm extremely competitive and don't like to lose.

I find humor in everything even when it's tasteless.

I love to have fun. I work hard so I can play harder.

I'm definitely funnier than you!

Every great journey starts with a first step. Maybe that first step will lead me towards you?

First date? Something fun that neither one of us has experienced before but a short, simple event. If it's painful for either one of us there's an easy escape. :)