I AM TOTALLY TICKED OFF THAT FOR THE 'SMOKER' QUESTION I AM NOT ALLOWED TO ANSWER...'HELL YEAH I SMOKE! I SMOKE CRAZY MUHFUH'S THAT MESS WITH MY MONEY!'
I am completely worthless, you would have to be a fool to contact me, because i am a totally boring person and a real killjoy to be around. I like to lay around and do nothing with my life.
For fun i like to rob liquor stores to fuel my incredible crack and heroin addictions, but even that gets old some days...on those days i spend my time pulling scams on little old ladies to get thier life savings.
I am also incapable of coming anywhere near yellow mustard without getting it everywhere for some reason.
I totally dig on that song "Ice Cream" on the intel dual core commercial with the chick in the stripped shirt dancing around too.
Last weekend i bought a live blue crab named pinchy and ran around the city getting kicked out of everywhere i went with him. I never did get to eat him.

only chicks that arent afraid to hang out with a totally kick ass guy need apply.

FOR YOU NON-BELIEVERS, HERE ARE SOME TESTIMONIALS:

"jheremya was the coolest person i've ever met! And SOOOO HOT!"
-name withheld by request

"this guy was so hot i could barely contain myself, i even have pictures of him on the walls of my room."
-Some broad i hung out with

"ladies, don't dare pass up the opportunity to hang out with this guy, i still would, but i finally had the last operation."
-"Bruno" (formerly Suzie)

"Even my mom and dad love him!"
- That girl from the bus stop

"This a-hole owes me five bucks!"
- My Ex


So there it is ladies, real testimonies by real women, and everyone knows...

TESTIMONIALS DON'T LIE!

i would start out the night by getting into your car after you show up at my house to pick me up and whisper in your ear the directions to the nearest dollar theater. after viewing only the finest of last seasons hit movies, we would go to wendys and i would buy you an exquisite dinner off the dollar menu that you will never forget. after we leave we would gas and go at the nearest 7-eleven and go to your house for an evening of fooling around...and then i would bum a roll of toilet paper from you as you got your keys to give me a ride home.