Instead of writing about myself, I'm confused by all of the following questions, and if you are too, then let me know what your thoughts are:
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?
How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Can you explain a psychologist better than "like a blindfolded auto-mechanic poking around under the hood with a giant foam 'were #1' finger"?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
How the hell is it possible to have a civil war?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

OK, OK, here's a little info about me,I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me!
Ok, seriously...my mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash, and it's gone!

What happens when an unstoppable force (you) meets an immovable object (me)??? We'll see... :)

Go car shopping, with the single purpose of getting the car salesman to make more scary faces than a mythological Hydra staring into a discoball!!!
For the test drive, ask for a salesperson who doesn't have kids, then, slip on your italian-leather racing gloves, and ask for a helmet! As you're putting the helmet on-sideways- look at the guy through the earholes and say: 'Boy, cars sure have changed since the last time I broke out'!
Tell me that won't do it....