PERFECT MATCH WANTED:

Job Description:

Candidate will be expected to flirt and play in all circumstances, take long romantic walks along the beach, and give great back rubs. Watching a movie with wine while cuddling on the couch is required at times. Willingness to try new things, and a high level of confidence is desirable.

Successful candidate should have all or most of the following;
1. Great sense of humor
2. Must be able to compete with a Labrador retriever in an IQ test
3. Smell great
4. Be very witty (I need some kind of challenge)
5. Be able to hold back the tears when teased until later
6. Non-"Clingy"
7. Outgoing positive attitude
8. Artistic in the use of duct tape

Grounds for Disqualification:

1. Talk of your doll collection in third person
2. Talk of recent hernia surgery
3. Showing of hernia in a jar
4. Talk in a baby voice for more than 30 seconds straight
5. Talking about the horrible manners of your friends with your mouth full
6. Feel me out for marriage and children on the first date
7. Dental floss stuck in teeth (Don't worry, I'll point it out)
8. Telling me you actually look nothing like your picture and
that it came from the Frederick's catalog.
9. Tell me I look like your father
10.Tell me I look like your mom

Starting pay is non negotiable $0.00/yr with special benefits. Benefits negotiable and can be discussed with interested applicants. No pen pals please, way too fun to be limited to email. Hurry open positions are filling up fast.

Why kill the surprise??? Something fun...

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Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married