Hi --Im JoHanna.Some call me Jo. Others have called me Legs,Boots,Princessnotsobrite, and I also have been referred to as Bubbles. I imagine there have been other names for me too as I am after all, divorced.,,,haha. O yes and by the way I am unemployed, going grey, snore and talk in my sleep, have a criminal record, have 3 birthdays[ but only celebrate the December one- that way I get gifts before everyone runs out of money after shopping for xmas], am a dreadful cook, keep the house a total pigsty, and I live with my parents. As long as I attend 2 AA meetings a week, I am allowed a date once a month but dont worry I can sneak you in thru my bathroom window.If we happen to "get lucky ", so to speak, I will have to put a pillow over your face so mom and dad cant hear . O ya - thats what happened to the last date, which is why I have a criminal record

NOTE::::::UPDATE::::::
Well, now that I have the "fireworks upside down" mess all straightened out, (thanks to my son taking me to one side and explaining that the little red cone is not a "rocket"}, I spent the rest of the summer lighting them the right way up.
He also advised me its probably best not to wash the filter on the lawnmower with dish soap anymore. BTW does anyone have a lawnmower for sale??
I also learned that those"creepy crawly things" you slide under a car with, do NOT double as a luge,,,, I also learned my laneway is not as long as I thought it was before it hits the street.
When i wasnt making a public spectacle of myself , I spent the summer studying law and eating smartfood popcorn[hoping and praying it would work], and even experimented with dark hair to see if that helped, but the blonde kept coming back,,, Nonetheless my attempts paid off and I graduated in August. Now I am able to extend my antics into the legal system. I am a legal assistant and also have my own business selling legal services. Maybe I should leave that part out- now Im going to get messages from badasses wanting help,,,,,
UPDATE,,,,I did attempt some factory work,assembly line stuff to be exact, because a friend told me it was"easy work", but it turned into a bad remake of "I Love Lucy in the chocolate factory", and I was subsequently "let go" after asking if the "50 something" bolts and screws crammed in my pockets were"really that important".If anyone out there has a new Toshiba, you may want to check the jack. People are so particular about trivial stuff these days,,sheesh.

ICE BREAKER,,,,,,,
Here are my reasons why chocolate is better than men...,
1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too ... the chocolate won't mind.[love that one,,,lol]
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at anytime of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.

why does the bride marry the groom when she could have the BEST man??????.like duh,,,they say he's the best man so why is she settling for less???

If you message me I need a picture--no picture no response.

DO NOT ASK ME for nude/pics /cam shots.U Wont get them. End of discussion.

I come with awesome children-they are my world. Part of the package. I raised them myself primarily, and its tough sometimes but anyone involved in my world has to accept I have kids and they come first. Not looking for a "Dad" for them, they have one,[although he is currently serving a lengthy jail sentence for stealing a casino bus complete with passengers, amongst other trivial offences].Did I mention I am divorced? I am just looking for someone who accepts my kids are part of me and come first. Having said that, it doesnt mean i dont have time to devote to that special partner,if i ever find them.
I'm looking for that "diamond in the rough" that makes me smile when i think of them, makes me tingle when they touch me, my knees turn to jello when they kiss me, makes me laugh, but most of all someone who is not only my partner and my lover[please be a good one]- but most importantly, my best friend. Someone to share lifes adventures with, good and bad. Someone I can go to sleep with next to, one day, and the last words we say to each other before we drift off, are "i love you", even if we're pissed at each other. I hate going to sleep angry. Im a hopeless romantic and very passionate.,, I'm the one your Mom warned you about, but also the one your Mom would grow to like in an instant,,,,,
I love to laugh. Without humour in this life, we have nothing. I enjoy spontaneity but I also value stability and always pursue my goals.

I am very energetic, love being busy, am told Im a ton of fun to be around and quick witted.I adapt to most social situations easily, and am comfortable meeting new people.
For fun, I like sleds, sea doos and 4 wheelers. Like setting off fireworks and attempting to make my own! For the "notsobrave" I enjoy just sitting on the boardwalk too, people watching, Love staying home, with family and friends, doing home renos, hanging by my pool, bbqs, watching movies, cooking together, hanging out doing nothing, romantic times ,,
Expensive things dont impress me. Its the little things that mean the most.. Some say I'm a "tough girl", but once you get to know me you will find I am the human version of a "milkful"candy. Google it,,,,,

Something informal,with little pressure. It should be fun, not like a job interview.
I had several"scary dates"so it would have to be somewhere with many payphones / streetlights close by[have to have payphones incase i drop my cell high tailing it out the door,,,,].somewhere where my getaway car can park un-noticed,,,,,
Here are my ideas,,,,,,,,,,
*lunch on a patio by the water/ by a picture window watching the snow fall.
**paintballing
***BBQ together,,,and talk while we're cooking- then sit on the deck/by the fire and enjoy!!
****wonderland/snow tubing[I cant ski- im British- but open to lessons,,,lol]
*****walk along the boardwalk then do some people watching,,,lmao[love doing that}
***NOTE*****If it is going to be a restaurant- please ,,,dont make me sit in the booth first -then get in right up next to me so i have to turn my head to talk to you like a "hoot owl" and the only way out is under the table,,,,,
**********A ride on a bike,,,,not a bicycle----a BIKE.Or a 4 wheeler/sled/sea doO

Bye for now---Good luck.

PRAYER FOR THE STRESSED READ IT AND WEEP LOL

GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO DEAL WITH THE ***holeS IN THE WORLD

AND ALSO, HELP ME TO BE CAREFUL OF THE TOES I STEP ON
TODAY AS THEY MAY BE CONNECTED TO THE ASS THAT I MAY HAVE
TO KISS TOMMOROW LOL

HELP ME TO ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK...
12% ON MONDAYS
23% ON TUESDAYS
40% ON WEDNESDAYS
20% ON THURSDAYS
5% ON FRIDAYS

AND HELP ME TO REMEMBER.....
WHEN HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY,
AND IT SEEMS THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PISS ME OFF,
THAT IT TAKES 42 MUSCLES TO FROWN AND
ONLY 4 TO EXTEND THE MIDDLE FINGER AND TELL THEM TO BITE ME!!



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