Yes, I put "F" Buddies... Like in Forever, Friendship,Forum, Just...Facts,Fishbowl, Free of B.S. and any other F that we both may Fancy... We're all adults here? correct..

Okay, 2008, and a new look at the Fishbowl..and boy is this place loaded with Fakes and Foneies... EEErrrr! two Fbuddies I'm NOT looking for.

New year New profile. Swimming in the pond close to 2 years. Seems I'm hooking the wrong phish, so here goes new approach

Okay after reading through these profiles , maybe I should turn off the monitor, grab a couple candles, bucket of ice N wine, a mink blanket and some baby oil and head out to the beech the next full moon..........OR..... Maybe I should take a Harley down to the local tattoo shop .............OR..................... just get myself a membership tp Gold's Gym....This seems to be what 90% of you fishes idea men...

Okay ladies (and the females here too) Princes Charming is dead...Seems he was shot in a drive-by trying to pick up two $25 hoochie mommas in the dope neighborhood wearing the wrong colors

ALSO.. the... Knight in Shining Armor ... The poor bazturd was seen crying on curb with a rusty shield from all the so called GOOD GURLS pizzing on him and his shield..(Seems Mr. KiSA aint into golden showers....)LMAO

Lastly but not least... Mr 1 in a million .....Well seems he was REALLY Won in a Lottery... Scuttlebutt has it was an OHIO Power Ball Lotto... (Sure it was a Power Ball , for cripes sake, he was MR 1iaM) LMAO

and yes ladies.... until someone invents a cucumber that can mow the lawn, and do the dishes, here you find yourself. admiring the DANCING PICKLES ----->

About me ... I like to think I am special ... I don't mean SHORT-Bus "special" either.. I'm the ant over the grass hopper. I take my family responsibilities serious. I have a daughter that EVERYONE falls in love with... I don't like to post her picture here, because I get accused of using her as Dating bait whatEVA the frick that means, and of Pimping her here..Yes,Yes,YES the fish pond is loaded with gals to take to visit Dad on the weekend at the prison to get marriage approval..

No X at All

Back to me.. I'm e-z on the eye, e-z to get along with, Young enough to be up long hours, and old enough to not ask where you are at after dark.. Not looking to keep anyone on a chain,,,,,welll accept those special nights for a couple hours along with pair of jumper cables,tub of peanut butter,bottle of hershey's syrup , and the shower curtain bungeed to the living room sofa.....if you're up for it!!

Don't smoke, don't really drink..Nothing wrong with a cold one, but I hit the bar to see the band or the stand-up, not to pay some schmuck lawyer cuz I got a DWI.

I probably own more tools then your brothers,uncles, and dad put together. Chances are even better I own more kitchen gadgets then anyone you know... I just love to build and make things... Have a handful of patients I'd like to get...most of my real money makers would be Pills one that would make a gallon of water GASOLINE....another would make a gallon of water BEER... My all time favorite would be to make one so seaman taste like CHOCOLATE..(Uh-huh..that's what I said....please don't send me any hate mail...this is the 20-100's okay)

Now I've been around the block...Not saying I have enough notches in the bed board to look like Bucky the Beaver's gnawing post, but even had a few from here... and I'll be daaamed if I can figure you all out 20 years later..Nor have the 40 y.o.'s changed from the 20 y.o.'s . You all claim you want a hard worker, good dad, honesty,funny, trust worthy, no games/drama and the Ever , most be at least blah-blah-blah tall.Well...........
..... Here I am... -------- (at the moment representing myself as a dancing pickle)

I really think that's a short generic list women have to get in the door with.It's on 94.6785% of the profiles.I'm also thinking you ladies are taking this internet dating like a shopping expo...

Oh, look at this one, let me click to my favs ..Oh no!! wait look at this one..... Ooooooh! here's the one for me...Uum..oops...No THIS is the one I want..Yea this one..... "Now do you have it a little taller, and in a different color??" .... WTF....This is POF, not a JC Penny's catalog


I haven't completely given up on this Internet dating deal... I've had a few profiles( this is #4), few dates. They've all been good in there own way, but a few things that have been said to me on a POF date have been enough to scare the Bejeeezus out of me like...."I'm glad you brought pizza and a movie, my anklet goes off 50 feet from the phone and I have to call my P.O. when that happens..and like.......another nice one was right after we did the deed..You know, you're a lot better then my brother gotta love those WV gals with internet and.... the all time worse was... hurry up , get in the closet my husbands home,

Few more things about me.. I can change a diaper,change a tire, change your mind,change my mind. I can shoot straight, have shot straight,been shot at. I have seen the inside of a library,inside of an oven,the inside of an engine,inside of Shock-Truma,and the inside of a prison. I like to head up. head on, head out and even put my head up my azz sometimes. I have been under a spell, I can cast a spell, but I can't spell. I don't play a piano, but I can play a pinochle, I can't play your games, but I can play the odds. I don't play lotto,cause I only have 3 favorite numbers...sex,seven,ate..(I told u I couldn't spell)..I can't drive a tank,I can't drive golf ball, but I can drive a bulldozer,a truck, a motorcycle,a nail,a truck, a crane,a boat, and you crazy. I have been told I'm cute,funny, real funny,phawkin funny, and a phawkin azz.. I own a PC, but am not PC, and that should be PC .I've lost my keys,I've lost my wallet,but I haven't lost my mind..I've found 100 dollar bill, I've found happiness, but I haven't found that ONE!

are you that 1?

Yea,yea, YEA I have a long long list of wants, but lets cut to the chase...

Can you think outside the box? Can you fold a box? Do you know what you want in your box?
Do you know where you have been and where you want to go?

Have you REALLY figured out what life is about?

It's a destination. Oh yes it is...Last stop...worm food!

As for looks, cause they are important, Even Playboy comes in braille. I like the whole ( spelled that right.lol ) women, from head to toe and everything inside and in between.

However I'm only interested in red blooded white girl.. (anyone who thinks that is shallow, well I don't date men, post/pre opt sex changes,farm livestock, or anyone in the family close enough that might want to fight over my will......no harm, just MY preference, period) I like thin girls, but not so thin you have to run around in the shower to get wet. Country girl healthy is good too, but...... your azz shouldn't be that big that if can be found during a MapQuest search, or have it's own nickname. I like short gals, but it really doesn't matter. As long as you don't weight more then me...(I'm 185). I'm a sucker for blue/green/gold eyes.But any color is fine. I do require you to have two and not on the same side of your face. I do like a cute face, of course if are missing teeth,an eye, and have facial hair, you will need to have a smokin hott body, a large bank account, and a liking for the taste of carpet and mattress stuffing. Tattoos are okay as long as it's not too many and you just have any old thing tattooed. No!!! Property of."....so-N-so ....." tattooed above the coin purse.. Of course if you have something like "Let go of my ears ,I know what I'm doing " across the back of your neck, ......that's a plus...Not looking for a ten and I sure ain't trying to date 2 five's Really like to find an ate.

By now you either love me or hate me, and that's the 2 categories that 99.5% of the people in my life fall into.

I'm really here looking for LONG TERM. Just looking for someone that the GOOD outweighs the BAD.

Some closing thoughts about the whole POF thing....
POF is like a box of chocolates: Some are sweet and chewy, some are really NUTZ inside, and some even leave that icky taste in your mouth and wondering.....Y did I put that in my mouth in the first place anyway...

Wouldn't it be funny instead of putting up older graduation pictures, you post age enhanced photos!!LMAO

How about a good old "F" date

How about we each take Forty dollars on a Friday night, and see if we can Find some Fun, and Fresh conversation, and see if we make ourselfs new Friends for starters...