In Memory of,...

"AMANDA JOHNSON" April 3rd, 1966 / July 30th, 2007

"THERESA LYNN LAWRENCE" October 6th, 1958 / August 16th, 2006

"DAVID CAR" August 20th 1955 / August 23rd, 2005

"BAD EYE" (ALAN MAYES) JUNE 5th 1953 / April 24th, 2004

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You know, they say when you quit looking,...you'll find someone.......

I guess thats what happenned to me,......

On the 4th of July I walked into "PORKEYS" Bar, at Dale Hollow Lake, Celina TN.........I saw my clan sitting at the closest table,...with only one seat available,...directly across from a very beautiful woman,....she looked out of place,...she wasnt the bar type, seemed a little uncomfortable,....and deffinetly not "Looking",....


The first thing I thought was,..."The Lady doesnt need any of my bullshyt",...so,...I sat down across from her,..turned sideways, and left her alone.


Later, a guy approched her,..they chatted for a few,...and as he started out the door,..he said something rude to her,....she answered back,..then he said something again,...then her,.....
I looked across to her,..and said,...."You wasting your breath,...your wasting your time,...and your getting mad.".....she looked at me,....smiled a beautiful smile,..and said "Yeah,..Your Right."....we introduced ourselves,..

"AMANDA" and I chatted for a while.
Everyone decided to leave, and go to my cousins,.who happenned to have an inground pool,....About 2am,...I decided I was gonna enjoy that pool,..and AMANDA said she would join me.
The pool water was warm,..the stars were out,.....the only sounds were those of the crickets,..and an old coon hound baying up in the holler.
We watched the moon rise above the tree line,...locked in each others arms,..AMANDA asked me why I ignored her earlier,......I told her the truth,....I felt she was too fine a Lady,..and that I wasnt looking for a long distance relationship.
AMANDA held me tight,..and repeatedly asked me,...


"What if you met the right woman"


I laid my soul bare,.....I told AMANDA I had met plenty of the "Right Woman" throughtout my life,..and that I'd alawys been the one that wasnt ready to settle down,..and I'd sabatoge many relationships, just to keep from getting to close, or serious.


I told AMANDA that I'd prayed to GOD, to find me the "RIGHT WOMAN",..and that I knew it was her,.....I buried my face in her neck and wept,..it was just so right,..holding each other close,..it was like we were the only two people in the world.


I told AMANDA, that I wanted her to take her time,...to think about it for a while,..before she decided if I was "The One",....I told her I wasnt expecting sex,..or wanted it,.....if we were to have a lasting relationship,..it had to be based on friendship,...and a great loving sex life would follow.


We spent the night there,...she slept like an angel,..so beautiful,...laying there smiling while she slept........................

The next day,....AMANDA asked me if I'd like to stay at her house, while I was visiting down home,...we talked about it for a while,...and decided it would be a chance for us to get to know each other better.


I took AMANDA "Down on the creek",..and "up in the holler",..where my Grandmothers old log cabin still stands,..its more beautiful now than ever,....well taken care of,..and the new owners had built a 3 story tree house,..so yeah,...we had to go up in the tree house,..top floor,..where I clicked a couple of pictures before we left.

The days passed so quick,..it was time to take my mother back to Indianapolis, she had a Dr's appointment she had to keep.

I'd call AMANDA 2 or 3 times a day,..we would chat sometimes for an hour or 2 late at night,...I told her that I'd left something behind,..when she asked me what it was,...I told her,..."My Heart"......
Then one day,...AMANDA told me she was gonna keep my side of the bed warm,....till I came back.
I asked her if that ment what I was hopeing it ment,...she said yes,..she wanted me to move there to live with her.


I couldnt get my thing packed quick enough,...I had some things I had to do before I could just take off,..arrangements had to be made,..bills had to be paid.
When I rolled back into her driveway,...she was sitting outside waiting for me,....I was welcomed with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

It was like being in heaven,..waking every morning,..walking outside to find an enveloping cloud of fog surrounding us,..shareing a cup of coffee together,...
watching the morning news together.

My daughter, and her boyfriend came down to visit, to see if they might consider moving down too,...so we could all be together.


My daughter and her boyfriend left on Sunday, July29th, to return home to Indianapolis.


On Monday morning July 30th,....AMANDA,...had a fatal heart attack, and passed away.

I had to return to Indianapolis,..against my wishes,....I couldnt stay there any longer,...I was asked to be out by a set day,..and had to do so.
Right now,....its still sinking in,...the wonderful pleasure of AMANDAS company is gone,..forever.
My hearts desire was to grow old with this Lovely Lady,..we had already started making plans for the future,...only to have them shattered,...in the early stages of our Love.
So now,....I've shifted my brain into nuetrul,....I have to be "THANKFUL",..that we had this time together,..and that she was "HAPPY",...at the end.
Or so I'm told.
"THANKFUL",....Yes,...Im am Thankful, to of met the Love of my Life,....
But Im not "HAPPY",..the way things have turned out.
You wouldnt be either.
So now,...Im only looking for "FRIENDS",...Im in now hurry.* I have ammended my profile, to convey "some" of my experience,...

I have left out some very important parts,

About her being drug out of her house,

and assulted by her ex boyfriend,....

pinned to the ground with his knee, while he chocked her.

The part of being pinned to the ground affected Amanda, to the day she died,...she complained of pains in her chest, til the day she died, hurting her all the time,..it was painfull for her to move, and even for her to cough.

She would ask me to wrap my arms around her tight, so she could cough without it hurting her too much.

Amanda, was the most beautiful woman,...a small, frail, woman of 125/135 lbs,..that had recently been thru a few surgeries,..the most recent was a hysterectomy.

The 300 lb gorilla that attacked her, should of just as well of put a knife in her heart,...at least it would of been quicker.

Oh,..theres more,....but I just didnt want to put all the sorrid details in what was supposed to be my "Love Story."

The saddest part,....

is that Amandas daughter "Amber" just lost her father, last Dec 12th,.....

so in less than 8 months,...

"Amber",... lost her father, and now her mother.

Victor D. Phillips