December update. If you can identify the motorcycle with the caption "My baby" I may change from friends to long term. If you have a trailer hitch on the back of your SUV and you look great in a cowboy hat I just might propose marriage on the spot.


Please don't take offense with the following list of "Must have qualities and skills to contact me"
These are unconditional and not up for debate. I have taken these from other sources as well as my own...

#1 You must have been born a woman...I will ask for a birth certificate
#2 You must be single (divorced is fine) but no ex-lurking boyfriends that you would get back together with if he asked.
#3 You have to be able to spell with decent puncuation when you send a message. Go ahead and spellcheck, I'll never know. Have a friend proofread it first, it's OK, as I've said before I'll never know.
#4 You can't look like my mom. You must look younger. I don't think I need to explain further on THAT one.
#5 You have to be interested in at least one thing. Eg. Scrapbooking, bicycling, musical instument, history etc
#6 You have to have at least one ex-husband or old boyfriend who has nice things to say about you other than "She is punctual"
#7 English must be your first language. Unless you have a cute accent like Spanish or French or Asian or Austrailian. Call me on this one and I'll let you know in a few minutes.
#8 Patience. A must. The fact that you are still reading this is a good enough sign for me.
#9 Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.
#10 You must insist we cancel our evening out if my kid gets sick. Mothers will understand what I mean here.

If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my
friend.
Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet

#1 You follow at least one professional sport.
#2 You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.
#3 You are funny (This is actually worth 5 points)
#4 You are witty and a bit sarcastic (10 points)
#5 You can teach me how to play drums.
#6 You know how to be a great passenger on the back of a motorcycle.
#7 Ride your own motorcycle or want to one day.
#8 Can let me pick my radio station every 10 songs or so.
#9 Own a pair of stretchy pants and look good in them.
#10 You are not a vegetarian or will at least let me eat animals- sometimes three times a day.
#11 Will forgive me when I keep harping about you leaving the toilet seat down.
#12 You understand that Saturday nights are for having everyone over for a bonfire after a day of dirtbiking.
#13 You won't put "stuff" on my ping pong table.
#14 Play ping pong
#15 Like running your fingers through my hair.



I think I can be very specific with my expectations. I'd like to start describing my ideal friend.
You must be great. You know... that woman everyone admires with who she is, what she has accomplished, obstacles she has overcome, all with poise and grace. Your family and friends must be important to you. You must have your own passion about something. Injustice makes you mad. You must be intelligent. You also must be fun. Witty, adventurous, interesting, passionate, compassionate. Just plain ole' fun to be with. Serious about the important things in life when you need to be, otherwise enjoy the journey. Should I settle for less in my life? Should you?

I am a nice guy. Period. I am witty, clean (just Irish Spring), fun and enjoy all life has to offer. My life is wonderful. I know that sounds corny or even sappy but it is wonderful. Isn't that what we aspire to? I've made it. I'm in love with my two young daughters, I have a pet or two. I live near dirt bike trails and have apple trees in my backyard. (The deer come up to eat the apples in the fall). volleyball in the winter and baseball in the summer.
If you asked me what I would like to be doing right now or what I want to do this upcoming weekend, my answer would be "Go dirt biking" He-lloooo are you still awake?

I am into a healthy lifestyle, enjoy many activities.

I know what I am interested in when it comes to a female friend. Just a friend. I am not looking to become romanticaly involved. That doesn't mean we drink beer in a basement comparing scars. It means that I would like to go to a movie, dinner, drinks, play volleyball or baseball or go for a motorcycle ride to an interesting event.
I will make you laugh because I am funny. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. My kids say I'm funny and then yell that it's "Opposite day". I don't get it.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says.........

I am a romantic at heart. Thought and effort must be put into a date.
A first date......
The weather would be perfect. Warm and sunny. A perfect day for a motorcycle ride. I would pick you up and we would ride to a fun Niagara Falls attraction. Maybe the butterfly conservatory or the Bird Aviary. A walk later, some very bad food for us along the way. A drink on a sidewalk cafe. A motorcycle ride along a winding stretch of road to a small and quaint town for dinner. Maybe sit by the window to watch the sunset, catch a glimpse or two of your eyes in that light...start getting curious about how the "goodnight" might go.
Wait a minute....I thought this said "Ideal first date"
Never mind.
Coffee at Timmies