what can i say, i have traveled the world, lived overseas, seen and done many things, i have a great sense of humour, great out look on life, but what im missing, is that special someone, my friend, my soul mate. i love having a laugh, love doing new things, life is way to short, so i make the most of it, i enjoy any extrme sports, and jumping out of planes, its insane, but loads of fun, i will try anything once.
what i am looking for is someone down to earth, has a sense of humour, enjoys the simple things in life, midnight walks, picnics with a bottle of wine, someone who enjoys the moment and not worrying about tomorrow, beacuse tomorrow never comes

waffal........waffal..........waffal............waffal

people take life to seriously, chill out, enjoy life, you only live once

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b***es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b***es who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*** in the kitchen."


THIS IS POLITICALLY CORRECT
A little boy goes to his father and asks, 'What is Politics and why is that Gordon Brown on the television again?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense..'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door
locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now.
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the
Future is in deep shit.


Q. What did God say after creating Adam
A. I must be able to do better than that.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask for directions.

Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

Q. How are men and parking spots alike?
A. Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at single bars have in common?
A. They are all married.