So, this is where I say EVERYTHING I am not supposed to say! I would say that I am super fun loving and just love life, but in all honesty, I am more complicated than that, just like every other human being you'll ever meet. And I fart, a lot. I try to catch them before they're out there, but sometimes I don't. SOMETIMES I just let them rip, esp if it's an inappropriate moment. Like in the middle of a meeting, or talking with a patron. I am insanely inappropriate... I love Disney movies, yes even Hannah Montana. I can never make a decision for the life of me, but I always know what I want. There is no rhyme or reason to my antics. I am definitely a prankster. I would say I am only looking for something casual, but that's bull shit.
ACTUALLY What if I said, I just wanted to get laid. What if I just throw the cards out there and am like, "Hey Good lookin, let's get cookin?" Is that trashy, or would YOU rather do the month ritual of getting to know one another: texting for a week, maybe talking on the phone, ( that one's is doubtful, I'm a busy girl) setting up a time to meet for like a drink, then maybe dinner, we could talk about your cat (please god DON'T have a cat) then go through the awkwardness of who pays for the bill, even more awkwardness of should we kiss, do I like you, do you like me, when in all honesty, all I really wanna do is play,"Ouch, ouch, you're on my hair." But if you want to go the month long ritual then by all means, yes I want to find a love story. You know those crazy stories that grandparents tell you, and you're like, "If only I lived back when you did Gramps, When the world was less complicated and people just fell in love and got married." ( For the record, half those people got married due to accidental pregnancies and a third of them are either divorced or alcoholics.) Sufficed to say, I have no idea what I want, but I am a blast.
Oh and another thing I am not supposed to talk about. I have pudge. Yeah there you go. I'm not a beached whale( I do workout a lot- and by a lot I mean like four to seven times a week, it sucks, but I am an addict for the endorphin kick.) but there is pudge there, so don't be all surprised when you walk up and homegirl's not a size two. I'm just saying. For those of you that are like, "Oh I would never judge you by your size-" well for one, you're lying and for two, EVERYONE judges EVERYONE by the way they look, it's ok, I get it, and I do it too. Ripped people are sometimes nicer to look at and touch, but in all honesty, I'm just a small town girl looking for a prince charming on a white horse with lots of money and no prenup!!!!!
I'm kidding! Here's the thing, in the end, all you have are the people who come to your funeral: The people you spent your life with, and your boo. By the time your funeral rolls up, your boo will care about you. The real you. The "I know you inside out and still love you for who you are" you. That's the boo I am looking for. Although I'm still young, I don't have to find him yet, so hit me if you want a good booty call. AYO!!!! That was a joke...perv.

First base definitely, wait what's first base again?