I try to reply to anyone who messages me. However, keep in mind I do have a life and just maybe random people I don't know might have to take a backseat to that. Therefore, don't get your panties in a wad if I don't reply ASAP. I'm either busy, your e-mail obviously shows you didn't read my profile, I think you're a complete and total sleazeball, or simply you're just boring. You should be intelligent enough to decipher which it is based on the message you sent me.

I graduated a year ago with all these spiffy certifications and training things along with one of those now all-so-important BS. I'm currently in charge of the federally mandated food safety program at a beef slaughterhouse. Yes, I aide in killing cute, fuzzy animals so people can actually get their essential amino acids and B12 vitamins without taking supplements. Again, you have a problem with this, I really couldn't care less. All you're doing is taking away from my job security, but luckily there aren't many like you so it's not a huge concern anyway.

If you haven't figured out by now, I'm extremely opinionated and blunt and don't care much for tact except when necessary (not when preferred by all those thin-skinned people out there). I'm also just a tad bit of a sarcastic smartass. I am someone you either love or hate. There just isn't any in between. Propitiously, it quite often weeds out the shallow, needy, two-faced, backstabbers who can't take a joke.

I know, I kinda come off as a bit of a priss in my pics (I know you were thinking "b-tch" before you read "priss"). Yes, I have 2 walk-in closets and 2 huge dressers packed with clothes. Yes, I have more pairs of shoes than days of the year (no exaggeration). Yep, I even do my nails before AI-ing cows. However, I am also commonly covered in any and all sorts of bodily fluids that can come out of an animal. One of my favorite things has always been football or soccer during or after a hard rain. I've never had issues baiting my own hook or taking my catch off. No matter what though, the line is drawn when it comes to camping. No exceptions. In the wise words of my mother, "Camping to me is a hotel without room service."

Some of my favorite things in life (to continuously be added to), since I can't ALWAYS come off like a heartless b-tch, are:
1. Trying to find synonyms for b-tch that substitute with the same zest so I don't have to write like a middle schooler. Spitfire, vixen, tigress, etc. just don't quite capture the spirit that is b-tch. Suggestions welcomed.
2. Laying in bed with my puppies watching chick flicks during bad storms that make the windows sound like they're about to smash into a million pieces.
3. The pain you get after working out a muscle you have to look up in a medical book because you didn't know it existed.
4. Standing in 120 degree weather for 5 hours with the sun beating down, passing around 1000000 spf and still getting sunburned, paying $5/bottle of water (or $3 just for a darn cup of ice) trying not to pass out from heat stroke just to watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies beat the hell outta whoever that Saturday's not so formidable opponent is.
5. Finding those amazing and unique heels you can't live without that also just happen to be so special you don't have a thing to wear with them. Therefore, you have complete and total justification to continue your shopping quest for at least one outfit to go with the heels so they weren't bought in vain.

Something crazy and out of the ordinary. Dinner and a movie sucks for y'all who haven't figured that out by now. Granted, I'm not really trying to date any of y'all (just hang out, chat, etc.) so I don't really care what y'all do. However, I'm a good suggester-er, so just ask.

And just a note since this actually has happened on here, I am NOT a whore and no amount of money can turn me into one, and I do not want to have "fun" with you.