For those of you who want to serve God, I've been told he likes his eggs over easy, not runny, toast with butter, no margarine(and yes he knows the difference), bacon crispy, well done home fries, coffee and a large glass off OJ....

Before you go any further and more than likely get offended, please sign the waiver limiting the amount of annoyance you can drop on me for my having offended your gentle constitution.________(initials are ok)

Thank you, you now may proceed, with caution...


First and foremost, if you have the need to tell me how great God is, or that God is more important then your family, or that through God all things are possible...KISS OFF! GO TO YOUR HOUSE OF WORSHIP, FIND A SIMILAR CUCKOO BIRD(OPPOSITE SEX). GO OUT AND FIND A STREET CORNER(preferably with a real busy intersection), BRING A BIBLE AND A SOAPBOX AND START THUMPING. PONTIFICATE TO EVERYONE THAT CROSSES YOUR PATH, AND IF WITHIN THE FIRST HOUR YOU AREN'T ARRESTED OR IF HE PROTECTS YOU FROM BEING ARRESTED OR BEING BEATEN, YOU HAVE MET YOUR FISH!

How many of you made it past that???????? I really don't mean to sound so harsh, but been getting a lot of the follow the fold and stray no more types. Your beliefs are yours, and if they aren't the same as mine, thats okay. Just don't push your beliefs on me. I believe in god, I am not a satanist, but just have problems with people who think their is nothing wrong with doing things wrong all year and the one time they goto their house of worship and then say and or do a few things and they are a good________(fill in the blank with your faith). Why not just be a good person, do the right things, be helpful and giving. If you don't goto heaven for doing so, the world will at least be a better place because of it! Enough of the religious MUMBO JUMBO(I know I need to get off my soapbox and stop pontificating)!

ME TIME: I can wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, even naked and not offend myself(and no I don't have any horns). I love to laugh, love to smile and love to see the those reactions from the person i am with. I am not a dog, nor frigid and am very open sexually, and scarily pride myself on this matter!

More Commentary time:

...My original hope was to find a nice young lady with no kids(I have nothing against kids, just easier to be in a relationship when an ex isn't holding things over your head) or tattoos(not my thing, but to each their own. No it doesn't make you a bad person in my eyes, but i think showing your individualism is being different and not being the same as everyone else), who doesn't smoke(i like to kiss and prefer not making out with dirty ashtrays) and has all her teeth(prefer the jack'o'lantern only on Halloween). Now, I am resigned to the fact that their aren't any of them out there. So, with that being said, what I am looking for is a women who has less then 50% of her body covered with tattoos, no more then 5 kids and with no more then 3 fathers of said kids(ie babies daddies), smokes less then two packs a day and has more teeth then she is missing(I know, i feel like i have conceded, stuck my tail between my legs and limped of sullenly into the wonderful world of dating).

I hope this has now, no longer limited the ladies who are available!

A few questions? Why is it women say the don't want to talk about sex but have pictures showing their cleavage? Also, how can anyone take a person seriously if they have 150 friends in their profile. If it makes you feel better about yourself I understand, but give it some thought, would you email a guy who has that many?

A first date? That means a woman must meet the above criteria! I really haven't given it much thought. Let's see, I promise it will be passable(nice confidence, don't you think)....so with that being said, hmmmm a feather duster, French maid outfit, jar of marshmallow fluff(will bring some handi-wipes also), the midget, whipped cream, silk ties and the Manilow CDS...oh wait first date, sorry about that....be enjoyable....make her smile and not run to her girlfriends and tell them what a freak I was....and most importantly it will be spontaneous! Not huge on long awaited plans. Long build ups are generally killers. Coffee or beer might just be a good safe choice! Or better yet a bottle of Scotch and two straws!


Now, if you are curious what I do with my free time...

...At present I do not have a ton of free time. In the past I have read, collected antiques driven in harness races(bonus points for anyone out there who knows what is), written poetry, pulled wings of butterflies(just kidding) and on the rare occasion frolicked naked in fields of sunflowers(not the same doing it alone)! My best friend(a female) told me this comment was gay and to take it out. Any comments on this matter?

How about recent vacations?...

Drove to Savannah, Ga to goto River Street to get some wings and beer. Went to Chattanooga, Tn to pick up an Arcade Game(I've always wanted one), went to Charleston SC to a Pawn shop for some 50 cent(cost not the artist) cds and went to Aiken, SC to look at antique shops and had a few beers in each one!

Seriously, I don't even remotely remember the last vacation I had. Sad isn't it?

And no, I AM NOT BITTER! DAMMIT ALL...lol