Im short, bald, broke, deeply in debt, huge beer gut, and have 8 kids - every woman's dream ;) Im looking for a good woman to pick up around the house, pay some bills, take care of the kids, cook a decent meal, and help out in the yard - if you need me I will be down at the bar ;) By the way, can you spot me $20?

I have been told that Im a great guy that has his stuff together. I would like to meet my match. Im happy with my career, physically and financially fit, emotionally available, love to laugh, romantic, and can be serious or funny depending on the situation. I have found that happy balance in my life and now, I would like to meet that one person to share it with. Are you the one?

Can you pass the test? Its amazing that over 90% of the women on this site cannot pass it...and women wonder where all the good men have gone, the same place all the good women have gone ;-)

2009 UPDATE - We may not be a match if: (In other words, Dealbreakers!)
You’re not romantic or affectionate....u expect me to be a man, then be a woman...
You’re married or on the rebound….within 6 months of divorce...
You have lots of ink or piercings on your body...one or two tatts okay.
If you SMOKE....DO drugs, drink excessively....QUIT, especially if your over 30...
You’re bipolar or on antidepressants....good luck with that, sincerely.
Your clairvoyant and can speak to spirits or the dead....yikes!!
You don’t have time because of kids, jobs, and school…or husband ;)
You don’t know what you want….why are you here?
Your friend talked you into using POF...take your profile down, your not ready...
You’re looking for Mr. GQ…he already has a man.
You don’t live in the Austin area….are you going to move if we fall in love?
You’ve been on any talk show or reality show….you would be surprised.
All of your pics were taken in a bar…grow up!
You’ve never had a long term serious relationship....and in your 30s…scary!
You want to get married on first date....maybe the second date ;)
You’re living the Sex and City lifestyle…you live downtown...not my style….
All of your pics are bikini, hoochie momma, or other revealing photos...
You’re looking for a free dinner or lunch…..I always forget my wallet ;)

And last but not least, if your overly religious then were not a match – Amen!

If this list offends you then we are not a match and please move on…

Good luck with your search.

ps - One last thing, please have a head shot and body shot posted if you want to communicate with me, its only fair since I have the same posted, thanks.

Im flexible and creative so I can always come up with something. However, our first date should be reserved for getting to know each other as opposed to going to a live music venue, or movie...what are your thoughts? Maybe coffee or margarita. Or maybe we could get naked and talk?