????ME?? ?? yeh ?im kinda like a fish out of water right now , trying to adjust back to life in the UK, and what a task thats proving to be,,,ive been living and working in the Western Caribbean,mainly the Cayman Islands,Jamaica and Cuba for the past 15 years,and this is my first time back,
This next bit i doubt will have any meaning to the unassociated but???? have been around the world,more than once,ive been through three hurricanes ,two of which were category 5,the worst kind,, lived without power and water for months having only corned beef and whatever you can catch to eat,including iguana [kill them by throwing tins of corned beef at em] ,tastes like chicken ,
Im glad to be home(except for the weather)and having to wear shoes, and underpants again,yup repatriation is bloody hard and uncomfortable,,ha yeh ive missed HP sauce ,pickled onions, warm beer, Margeret Thatcher???? where she go?? and english accents.oh!!
I guess i would say im a bit of an adventurer,oh ive had a few ,some good ,some not so good ,but after all this i consider myself to be level headed , fun to be with(or so im told)have no hang ups about past relationships,also i have 2 boys,one 16,he lives here in the UK,and my youngest 11 who is in Jamaica,
Im ,honest ,caring ,, happy with my life ,hardworking , not a bar fly,one night a weeks good for me, and i smell nice and most of all loyal ,
oh yeh i can cook ,fix virtually anything and love ironing???? well not the ironing ?? that was a lie,likes dogs, cats and children , in that order ha ,,.But being home i want to ask ,,what is a "chav" ?? i hope to god im not one of those,,,nobody seems to like them ,,WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN????? oh yeh and i found out what those big boxes on poles by the side of the road are for ,,twice,, by mail with a pic of the car ,, no body told me about those .

LIKES,most importantly,being in a relationship, thats why we are here isnt it???honesty,loyalty,big hugs ,REAL people with a sense of humour who do not take life too seriously,spontaneity is a must have,,,
that butterfly feeling you get when you stroll along the beach at sunset,(yeh we get that too ladies) holding hands with a beautiful woman,fingers through my hair,my feet tickled,my back scratched,sunburn (i know thats strange but it makes me feel alive),loud nights out,quiet nights in,cuddling up on the couch kissing for hours,

DISLIKES,snow, i dont do snow,fake tan in a bottle?????? i can spot you a mile off and you look like umpalumpas, you are ORANGE for gods sake?, coconuts, bananas,corned beef,,,,,,stupid,over fed, newly wed and nearly dead cruise ship passengers who ask bloody daft questions,like is there water on the other side of the island???,,,,, oh yeh relationships with more than two people involved,that more than anything.cept maybe rice pudding,,did i mention corned beef?,,,people who refer to soccer teams as "we or us",most annoying,,,,far too high maintenance girly girls,,,,gold diggers,,,,British Airways in flight meals,always chicken(tastes like beef) or beef(tastes like chicken), cmon change the damn menu,i prefered the iguana,materialistic people who think flash cars and bikes and jet skis mean a thing to me? hey i lived in millionaires playground for 15 years whats on offer just aint enough??,The 2 pound coin????? what the???? it weighs 2 pound ?? whats that all about ???? like carrying a dustbin lid in ya pocket????are they mad?????? which brings me to
dust bin men ????they used to come get the trash ?? now i got to take it to them??? even when its cold ,,and i dont like the cold , and whats with the flourescent high visability jackets?????????? is this a new fashion statement im unaware of??????
what have you done to my country whilst i was away???and corned beef,,,
, no im not sad or desperate ,im here to meet new people and date ,but im tired of going to bars n clubs with my mates,being single sucks ,
oh and now i cant smoke in the pub???? and i cant take my drink outside????? what do i do ,,stay in i guess?? is it still legal in wales???i'll move to wales,(oops,,update,, i quit,,,, so i'll stay here)
and most importantly,,,, dont be shy ,be brave, i dare you , drop me a message and say hi,!,,,,and i reply to every one ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!,oh i do do the no photo thing aswell ,but if "ALL" your beauty is on the "inside" and are hideous on the out i might make an exception,ha???no giants no dwarfs, or any other fairy tale afflicted people please!!!!!!!!(princesses and pointy ears acceptable)
...and for the last time,,,NO i dont want a corned beef sandwich,,hash or any other concoctions that have remotely anything to do with corned beef ,, thankyou ,,,oh it has been bought to my attention ,,, i talk to much ?????? cant think why??????????? oh one more thing,,

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Please put this on your profile if you know someone who has been eaten by a shark. Thanks.

Por favor poner esto en tu perfil si conoce a alguien que ha sido devorado por un tiburón,,,, gracias

well ok then,, ok i call you on your phone that i bought you when you landed in Cayman i arrange for my driver to take you to the Ritz Carlton, where you have the 4000 square foot pent house all for yourself, i pick you up outside your condo,just before sunset,around 6.45, on my 60 foot sport cruiser yacht,,then we idle across north sound , snacking on caviar n water biscuits, oh i forgot yeh smoked salmon , we stop in the midst of a seemingly endless ocean ,on a shallow sand bar, eat sea food, the freshest oysters,corned beef , succulent mahi mahi ,,oh and steak n chips for me ,,im sick of that stuff,,, talk for hours about life,nature,,,, how big my boat is?? ,, and watch as the sun dips down into the turquoise depths of the caribbean ,over the "bottle of red" that everybody seems to like these days ??????????????,(CHRIST) its white with sea food ],,isnt it??, throw my boat captain overboard then continue on to our next destination ,a little quiet bar on the north side of the island ,get sh*t faced n party ,,hell we on vacation huh?,,,short of that ill meet you somewhere in town have a drink meal or kebab n go skinny dippin in the canal, n see if we get along ,,is that cool??

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