DO YOU THINK THAT WE WILL CLICK AND THAT THERE COULD BE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN US.....?

CAN YOU ENTICE ME WITH YOUR HUMOUR, EXPERIENCES, CONVERSATION & GOOD MANNERS?

IS YOUR PROFILE INTERESTING, HONEST AND REAL OR IS IT MISLEADING?

COULD YOU BE THAT SOMEONE SPECIAL IN MY LIFE...?

IF YOU'RE COSMOPOLITAN; READ ON...

It's only fair to see who has contacted me (smile P L E A S E !) NO PHOTO = NO REPLY!

My glass is NOT half-full or half-empty! The glass is the wrong size or maybe the person that poured the liquid was prejudiced! Forget the glass - just give me the bottle! LOL

ARE YOU LIKE ME? I AM: passionate, uncomplicated, practical, versatile, adaptable, honest, respectable (so far), decent, broad-minded, faithful (always), considerate, tactful, reliable, kind, unselfish, fit and genuine. A good laugh, spontaneous, but also sincere, caring, compassionate, affectionate and warm. A real people-person but not a player! I'm a happy, easy-going individual. I'm independant and have no dependants. I value genuine relationships/friendships and detest liars. I L-U-R-V-E meeting new people!

Sometimes I'm intellectual and at others a air-head. I can often look like a dog but never ****y! Sometimes I'm a puddytat or a T-I-G-E-R-RRRR!!! I'm a dark-horse, an owl, an ass, a cheeky monkey, an ox, a culture-vulture, social butterfly, eager-beaver, a minx!!! Gentle as a lamb with the ROAR of a lion but NEVER as quiet as a mouse! I don't rat! I never boar but sometimes I'm a pig! I rabbit a lot but I'm not a bunny boiler! A bit of a black sheep! Are ewe too chicken to contact me and have a whale of a time and perhaps release these animals in me? I'm rarely a "fish out of water!" (I'm still a kid at heart or maybe a bit cuckoo!)

WHY IS A MAN LIKE A CAR? BECAUSE THEY BOTH PULL OUT BEFORE FINDING OUT IF SOMEONE ELSE IS COMING!

HELP! SOMETIMES 2 OR 3 OF YOU COME THROUGH ALMOST AT ONCE ON THIS INSTANT MESSENGER THINGY! I CAN ONLY DEAL WITH ONE MAN AT A TIME! SO MAIL ME IF YOU GET CUT OFF. (ooh errr misses!) So it's a 1st cum first served basis! I'll respond only to the mail (or should that be male - lol) that arouses me!

Two thick females talking: the first one says: "I took a pregnancy test today!" The other asks: "were the questions hard?" LOL

I've usually had YOUNGER MEN, but NOT to mother. Neither am I an old bag looking for a young shag! I'd love to just "instantly click" with someone. I love babies (couldn't eat a whole one but they're sweet - lol) and animals - now we're talking - I once married one! I have Irish/French roots (and a few grey hairs). I drink occasionally (Slainte, Skal, Proost, Salvd, Na zdorovye, Na Zdrowie, Az dodna, Cheers). I am fluent in English and also Bollox after drinking alcohol. I love all sorts of different things. I'm lively and out-going and NOT a Drama Queen!

A man returns his blow-up doll to the sex shop and complains: "she keeps going down on me!" The Shop Manager replies: "If I'd known that, I'd have charged you extra!" The shop manager then tells him that an Iraqi doll is better as they blow themselves up!

The lads had a whip round for me - I asked for a whippet puppy! Never mind, I can always do the self-flagollation thingy and keep the flies away at the same time! It might even help my whiplash and whip myself back into shape! (See pic)

"I AM A LADY, A REAL LADY! I WEAR LADIES CLOTHES AND DO LADIES THINGS...! " (Schhh! I'm a wannabe ladette!)

MICKEY MOUSE WAS WAS APPLYING FOR A DIVORCE AND THE LAWYER TELLS HIM: "I'M SORRY MICKEY, YOU CAN'T DIVORCE MINNIE MOUSE JUST BECAUSE SHE'S GOT BUCK TEETH!" MICKEY REPLIES: "I DIDN'T SAY THAT SHE'S GOT BUCK TEETH, I SAID SHE'S F***KIN' GOOFY!"

FILM: sci-fi, thrillers, horror & kids films.
TV: Catherine Tate, House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, Silent Witness, Lost, Prison Break, Commando, Over There, Andy McNab's Tour of Duty, SAS: A Soldier's Story, Bad Lads Army, Ultimate Force, Supernatural, City of Vice, Desperate Housewives, The Tudors, Katy Brand, The Simpsons, Pushing Daisies, Head Cases, Sex And The City, The News.

When the man in my bed is sweating, gasping for breath, grasps me tightly, screams my name and looks deep into my eyes.., then I know that I've removed the pillow too soon! LOL

MUSIC: U2, Kanye West, Amy Winehouse, Black Eyed Peas, GNR, Prodigy, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Pink Floyd, Scissor Sisters, Coldplay, Reggae, Rock, Club Dance, some classical, ethnic traditional music. Yeah!

IT'S YOUR PHEROMONES...YOUR HIGH TESTOSTERONE LEVELS OOZE FROM YOUR EVERY PORE...
I FIND IT I R R E S I S T I B L E ... BUT IF IT AIN'T THERE, IT AIN'T THERE; KNOW WOT I MEAN! AM I BOVVERED? DO I LOOK BOVVERED?

SORRY: Swearing, bad manners, beards, moustaches, stubble, body piercings, chavs and paunches are all turn-offs!

Man tells doctor: "I've got hereditary diarrhoea!" The doctor replies: "diarrhoea isn't hereditary!" the man replies: "It IS hereditary, it's in my jeans!" LOL

I'm not on this site to see if I can gain lots of favourites - that's for SAD people that need to get a life (i.e. SERIAL VOTERS)! There are no revealing photos of myself as I'm NOT cheap!

A very BIG "THANK YOU" to those that have made me a favourite.

I'll always add current military to my favs list 'cos of your working conditions and my background.

I'll meet you (after lots of emails and eventually phone calls - NOT JUST TEXTS!) somewhere on neutral ground. Perhaps a few drinks in a bar to gain "Dutch courage!" and maybe progress onto dinner! Please just be your natural self. AND IF THERE'S GENUINE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN US...!

The end is in sight!!!
Congratulations for reading this far.
The sequel is with my publisher.
Happy Fishing!

!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!??????
Put this on your profile if you ever pulled a door that says "push!"
In other words; did you ever think that you had pulled and then
realised that you had pushed a bit too hard?

younger than 50
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not do drugs
Must not be married