About Me
DISCLAIMER: I originally thought it was pretty obvious that my profile was written as a joke, but judging from the hate mail received, apparently I need to point this out beforehand. Perhaps it's a good way to weed out those not intelligent enough to detect my sense of humor?
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Instead of describing myself, how about I describe my ideal girl?
She must be smart and cultured. Smart can be defined several ways. Generally, the best indication of intelligence is agreeing with me. I don't expect a woman to be witty enough to be able to verbally spar with me on a consistent basis; please, if one even exists, I've never met her (and don't email me telling me that you are that girl. You aren't). As long as she gets my jokes, and can throw one or two back every few minutes, she's good. As far as cultured goes, she doesn't have to be the fashion critic from Vogue, she just has to know more about the arts, decoration, and design than I do, and has to have some sense of style, because I have none. This is not one of the tougher requirements to pass. If she can coordinate an outfit, she should sail through this.
She must be emotionally stable. This is very important. Nut jobs need not apply for a date with me, as I already have more than enough problems for one relationship. I require a woman who comes from a loving, stable family and carries no major emotional baggage with her. I'll give her more baggage than a Fendi store, she doesn't need to bring any into the relationship.
She must be willing to take care of me and worship me. Unlike most guys, I'm going to be honest: I want to be nurtured and coddled. No question. I want a woman that will cook for me, that will take care of me when I'm sick, that will do my laundry, clean up for me, give me massages and just generally care about my welfare more than I do. She has to hold me in the same regard I hold myself, i.e., she has to worship me. Believe it or not, this isn't hard to find by itself, but this combined with "smart and cultured," well, that's hard. Probably because a smart woman would never be stupid enough to worship me. I guess that's what mail order bride catalogues are for.
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Lane779 Appears on 9 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
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