"Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?"

Bonus points knowing where this quote comes from...the reward will be one of those stale lollipops that are given to children at the doctor's office. I bet most will want the mystery lolly.

I would consider myself to be funny; depending on the broadness of your sense of humor, I may make you laugh...my sense of humor does not dwell just within the limitations of reality...Music and comedy are a big part of my life...I do believe I am the greatest entertainer...of myself. I try to be non-judgmental...I expect the same in others close to me...I am loyal and considerate...to those that are in return... I have a big heart...mind you it is surrounded by electrically charged barbed wire and ravenous pit bulls.... the pit bulls are also electrically charged....it is difficult to get in, but once you do, you will never get out...

Random facts in no particular order:

* Big fan of beer. Sort of a beer connoisseur (dork). Especially German and Belgian beer. Been to a few beer fests, and a few unique beer bars in Philly. The city is amazing for that kind of stuff. I would love to eventually travel to the mecca of Beer: Belgium.

* I play video games. I'll probably still play 'em 40 years from now.

* I listen to mostly rock, metal, progressive and psychedelic music. Some bands that could be found in my iPod include Porcupine Tree, Opeth, Tool, Dream Theater, O.S.I., Chroma Key, Demians, Abigail's Ghost, Into Eternity, Ihsahn, Leprous, Anubis Gate, Ayreon, Blackfield, Devin Townsend, Daylight Dies, Dark Water, Dimmu Borgir, Empyrios, Kamelot, Paradise Lost, Spleen Arcana, Suspyre, Pink Floyd, Yes. Not a big fan of rap and country. Classic and jazz are good in small quantities, and at the appropriate time. (Listening to jazz while driving = good chance of falling asleep at the wheel!) Some techno and dance music is okay.

* Speaking of techno and dance music, I don't dance. At least not well. I would more likely to be found at a bar or a concert than a club.

* I enjoy live stand up comedy. Most of the performers I have seen have been good to great. I swear some people are idiots when they heckle a performer. Don't they realize that the comic is probably used to their taunts, and will simply embarrass the heckler. I've seen it many times.

* I have a very unusual sense of humor. Sometimes dark and disturbing, sometimes downright goofy and silly. If you're easily offended, then it might be tough to "get it." I don't insult people or anything like that, but I can be extremely satirical. Subtlety of humor? That's an understatement.

* Most people say they are open minded, or laid back or whatever. I wouldn't necessarily call myself either. I am honest and forthcoming, and know what I like and don't like. If we don't have anything in common, it would be difficult to generate conversation. It's just common sense.

* I am currently planning world domination, and if that doesn't pan out, I am considering a career as a cereal killer. That position seems quite lucrative. Watch your ass, Tony the Tiger!

-Ryan

I won't shiver in the cold
I won't let the shadows take their toll
I won't cover my head in the dark
And I won't forget you when we part

Collapse the Light Into Earth

I won't heal given time
I won't try to change your mind
I won't feel better in the cold light of day
But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay

Collapse the Light Into Earth - Porcupine Tree

* Perhaps a stop at a bar for a few drinks , then over to some kind of gaming activity: pool, bowling, (Dave and Busters?)

* A comedy show is also a good first date possibility; laughter gets those positive juices flowing, and conversation might be easier.

* Basically, anything that requires interaction. Going to the movies is made for those who are already involved.

* A date should not be like a job interview; its important to be yourself and avoid bringing your "representative." Why pretend to be something you are not?

* I am the prototypical "nice guy", but I am also pretty confident in myself; if I send you a message and do not receive a response, I will not chase you down. It's not in my nature to do so.

* The main purpose for me on this thing is to find someone who has mutual interests; namely similar tastes in music - progressive rock/metal, comedy, writing, reading, movies, sports, and beer bars . If it doesn't lead to anything serious, what is the harm in making a new friend who is awesome?

* It is the year 2009, women can approach men. Feel free to send me a message, I will respond. NOTE: I will no longer be sending e-mails to anyone on this site. But I will still respond to any mail sent to me.

* I am a fan of words, the english language, and find that some people really do not know how to read or write reasonably. If you cannot get my subtle humor or find it difficult to read my profile, there would be the sound of crickets and the sight of tumbleweeds passing by if we were to meet.

* Did you know that turtles can breathe through their butt? (Humans cannot breathe through their butt, though some talk out of their ass!)