Ok, you stopped to take a peek,
I encourage you to read on...
send me a note... I will respond.
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Try and make someone smile today :)
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Yeah it's a long profile, hell I'm not 20 yo...

"Court Ordered Disclaimer"
[...to start off with let me preface this by saying that although I like to joke around I really am an extremely stable individual, so dont be confused by the ramblings... My sarcasm and commentary about life is based on life observations and experiences,I welcome all comments and discussion.]

Let see... about ME!
yes, this is all about me after all
I'm tall, white and handsome...
...um, am I allowed to say "white"... is that politically correct?
Who cares, I don’t subscribe to political correctness, so if you easily offended you might just want to quietly exit now...as for offending me, I am virtually bullet proof.

Basically, I don’t care where you are from or where you have been, just don’t use it as an excuse for your behavior, and dont try and lie about it, because I can read minds...
I look forward and not to the past, own up and move on.
And whatever you do, dont give me excuses, especially the "I'm too old..." or "I'm too tired..." ... otherwise I may ask you to step in front of a bus..
(yeah.. I found out you not allowed to push them anymore, damn..)

You had better want to live life and not sit there and watch it go by if you want to be around me.

umm but more about ME:
Kind of loosing my hair... oh well didn't need it anyway, I guess it just means less maintenance.. yeah, I know and it's not RED like my profile says either...
Oh and I don’t wear one of those dorky baseball hats backwards either. (guys grow up!) I will wear clothes that fit me...so don’t worry, you wont see my underwear until its time, OK? (patience pays…)

Play:
I like to stay active, play sports tennis, run, golf, bike, swim...
Love to play games, all games, poker especially!
Don't have time for head games either.
opps, I guess that kindof rules out half the woman right there, LOL
Now reindeer games, I could be encouraged to play a couple of rounds of that.

Sports:
Not much into watching sports either, I guess it’s your lucky day, because you don’t have to watch me watch sports either. I’m a doer more than a spectator, although I do like to go to an occasional UM away game, Any excuse to travel and I am there, it's kind of refreshing to get out of Miami.

Self:
Sometimes I ask myself why I am on this site…
Simply to meet other active people.
Please, someone that knows how to express themselves!
I dont have time to coach the weak ones anymore.

Kids: Yep, I have a couple part time. more on that as needed....

Spontaneous:
You had best be a "doer" and ready to leave on short notice... I'll give you 24 mins, otherwise I'm leaveing your butt behind. More than that and you're probable too high of maintenance for me anyway (eek!, probable someone I would never want to wake up next to either, sorry, such is life)... Also if you're afraid to get your hair wet then you will probable end up like one of those little old ladies with a plastic bag on her head... yuck! not my vision either. (refer to the bus comment above)

Visuals:
Oh, if you are afraid to show yourself (picture), one would have to wonder why?
Do tell? I am as superficial as the next person. And if you are one of those girls that has to show too much of herself on her profile, than thanks for the visuals but your probable not my type either. Come on, if you have to advertise your body to get guys then maybe you have selfimage/worth issues.(?)
Oh yeah, and for those girls that have pictures of herself on a bed, what is with that? can we just skip the dinner and I just leave you a few bucks on your night stand before I leave in the morning?

Also if you are really fat overweight, please dont put "average" as a body type.. dont even get me started.... And for gods sake, put a picture that represents how you look NOW not 20 years ago. I once went on a first date with a woman and actaully had to ask her where her daughter was... yeah that one it didnt go to well. LOL
...you know on second thought... how about just no fat chicks...sorry

Also I question woman who are 40+ yo and are unable to hold a long term relationship, ("Single": means never married) are you that flakey that you cant maintain a relationship or is it you are too much of a bee-och?... just curious.

Sex:
Yep, I like it….....and often with only one partner.
I totally believe in a monogamous relationship, expect the same, but if we aren’t sexually compatible it’ll never work. If you woman haven't figured this out by now, that if the little head aint kept happy, he'll do all the thinking...and we know how much trouble that can bring. I expect total openness and honesty about health issues. I may like to goof around but I am not stupid. I know way too many people, men and WOMEN alike who LIE about having STDs. I’m sorry if you may have them, but I don’t and wont be, we will compare health cards at some point.

...funny, after I put this comment in, I've been getting some negative comments... must be that I've hit the nail on the head. oh well...

Let’s see, what else is there,

Does/Donts:
Don’t smoke… really perfer that people don't but it is what it is... your life. Just dont critize me for the things I do.... I guess we all have our vices. (love to hear about yours)

Don’t do drugs... "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker..." something like that

Not wanted by police, FBI or CIA, even in another state or country..
There is this guy that has been following me... lol... (that rememinds me of a story, but ask me about it later)

Don’t live with my mommy... this must be a Latin thing?
I understand that woman do this but men should never! (little momma boys) )

Own my own car... house... etc...

Have a real job...yep I do...and I never had to sell phone cards for a living either.

No diseases... curable or incurable...

Still have my teeth...

No handicaps, does rambling banter count?

All originally equipment in perfect working condition, no need for those "blue" pills
Oh, I like sex.. think I mentioned that already...

opps.. out of space...

You know, this is kind of a trick question isn't it...
Ostrich racing is a definite OUT... yeah, as you might guess, that didnt go well
but to be fair it wasn't my fault, the saddle just slipped off.. honest...

If you're lucky there may be free liquor available...
other than that...
There are no free rides...
and all dates are subject to an optional fuel surcharge.(sorry)
just kidding.... I can be quite generous if provoked..