Funny story, 9-24-08: So this morning when I woke up, I had a hankerin' for some hash browns. Not just any hash browns, mind you. No, fat boy wanted some Waffle House hash browns. Yeah, you know you like 'em too. So anyway, there just happened to be a Waffle House across the road from the truck stop I spent the night in last night (No, I will not name the city I was in. I will, however, tell you all the state was Illinois. I won't name the city for reasons that will become apparent in a minute). Well, I got dressed, grabbed the book I'm currently reading, and headed on over there. I walk in, grab a booth, order some coffee and my breakfast, and open my book. A few minutes later, my food is in front of me, I'm tucking into my hash browns, and continuing to read. Yeah, I know I'm talented because I can eat and read at the same time. Pipe down, people, it's about to get interesting.
The waitress comes to refill my coffee, and the conversation goes as follows.
Waitress: "Why are you reading?"
Me: "It's a science fiction book. I'm kind of a geek." (I thought she asked WHAT I was reading, not WHY I was reading.)
Waitess: "No, I asked you why you were reading. That looks like a pretty thick book."
Me: (With a look of utter bafflement on my face) "Are you for real? You're seriously asking me why I'm reading a book?"
Waitress: "Yeah."
Me: "Well, I guess it's so I don't end up serving tables in a Waffle House some day."
Profile begins below, I just had to share the story, because here it is, late afternoon, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head.
Howdy. I'm not going to get into what I look like, because that's covered above, plus there's plenty of pictures for you to look at. I will, however, add that I am heavily tattooed, and that I have a couple of piercings.
My name is Rich. I'm prior military and law enforcement, and am currently employed in the trucking industry hauling specialized and over-dimensional freight. Basically what that means is that when you see one of those big trucks with oversize load signs and lots of red flags and flashing lights, with something REALLY big on the trailer, being escorted by pilot cars front and back going down the road, there's a decent chance it's me behind the wheel.
I'm a geek that looks like a Hell's Angel. I like most music, if it fits into the FFD scale (ask if you're curious). I'm smarter than I look, and much smarter than most give me credit for.
My bad attributes: I'm not terribly good looking. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dog meat or anything, but I'll also never make the cover of GQ. I can be incredibly obstinate and bull-headed. I'm sarcastic. I don't smile much. I'm kind of a control freak (show me one cop who isn't). I tend to repeat myself. I'm over analytical. I tend to read between the lines, even if there isn't anything to read between.
My good attributes: I'm honest at all times, about all things. I'm loyal, faithful, good in the sack, and a hard worker. I'm reasonably easy to get along with. I like to have a good time, drink some beers, go bowling, whatever, but I also know where my priorities lie, and I make sure they're all covered before I have any fun.
What I'm looking for: Physically, I'm attracted to smaller women. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean anorexic-type skinny. It just means that I'm not attracted to "BBW's". Sorry ladies, I know this makes me a shallow prick doomed to a life of loneliness, despair, and perpetual masturbation. I've heard it all before. But the fact is I know what trips my trigger and what doesn't. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate some curves and softness to a woman. So if you've described yourself as "average", or "a few extra pounds", and those are honest and accurate assessments, it's all good. Now, beyond the physical stuff, she's also going to be honest, sexy (to me), open-minded, intelligent, and she'll have a sense of humor. She'll be mature (meaning she'll have outgrown the need to go out an party all the time) and looking for something real and long-lasting.
Well, if you like what you see and read, and you find yourself interested, shoot me an email or an IM. Hope to hear from you soon.
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