I've been studying this online dating thing. Every woman wants to laugh, but none of them want to see me naked! That would be a guaranteed laugh for sure! lol. Just kidding.
One girl asked me if I like to be spanked!?! What the hell!?! Are you serious? NO!! NOT EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD!!! I'm not into satanic chicks either, I'm so tired of sacrficing chickens just to find love. Ugg.

Now about me... I'm a biker. Not the hells angel kind, more like the big tough kind, who screams like a SISSY GIRL when I see a spider! Eeek!!! Did you know that spiders can jump 100 feet, and land in your ear while you are sleeping? They even eat children! So, I guess I want a woman who's not afraid to kill them for me! Please, save my babies! I've got a great sense of humor ranging from goofy self-appraisal to belly rolling insanity. I love to enjoy life, and nothing says that better than giggling for three days after a date.
Back to the point... sorry... I'm kind of ADD.... well, more like AD... I can't pay attention for the second D... oh look something sparkly... oops. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah...
When I'm not at work, I'm either on my bike exploring, or working on some artistic project at home. I LOVE to cuddle, and be close. (Not just so you can protect me from the spiders either!) I don't do drugs, and I don't drink often. Aside from my constant mission to find humor in life's tragedies, I love to have deep meaningful conversations. I'm very personable, easy-going, and polite. I love words like... intimacy... serendipity... serenity... integrity. I try to live up to them, and can't stand living without them.
I'm a genuine bad boy, fully reformed, tempered with idealism and depth. And I haven't committed any felonies in hours, I swear. lol. Again, just kidding.
I am looking for something serious, and what I really want is to be a husband again someday. I want to both chill out and do fun things. And if I found the right woman, it would just come natural.
Looking for: a hotty with a good attittude, who wants to laugh till they cry, but can also cry until they laugh.
Please no angry girls, unless you have over 100 restraining orders... some call it a restraining order, I call it a love letter. lol. If you can't laugh, maybe you ought to get in touch with the spanker? I think I still have her email address. If you're afraid of intimacy, commitment, or success, I'm certainly not a good fit for you. If you hate kids, I don't think you'd dig me. If you only eat soy beans, and think a medium-rare steak is murder, then I'm not your guy either. And in case you missed it.... I don't do drugs, that would mean if you like to be awake for 5 days straight, I'm not your man. If you drink SOCIALLY it's all good, as long as I'm driving, and you're not an alcoholic. I'm a very open and honest person, and want the same in you.

Alright, this is the fun part! Let's Go!
First Date: I'd probably pick you up on my bike, (don't worry, I've got a helmet and leathers for you) and take you for a ride. We'd go to some small local cafe, have a light meal and get to know each other. If we felt comfortable with each other, we could cruise around town, maybe find some place romantic to watch the sunset while we pushed down old people. LOL. I know, my sense of humor is sending me straight to hell, you don't have to tell me.
Second Date: More bike riding... maybe go for a walk in a spider-free zone. Someplace fun and sunny, and quiet enough to talk.
I'm pretty relaxed, and open to most things. I can always use more friends.