Achtung Baby
"Mysterious Ways"

Johnny, take a walk with your sister the moon
Let her pale light in to fill up your room
You've been living underground, eating from a can
You've been running away from what you don't understand
Love


Some days I don't know which character I'm playing in this song - Johnny or the moonlight. All I know is that I've been running for far too long and I still don't understand love.

BTW, did you know that with Seahorses the males become pregnant, attach themselves to a plant until the eggs hatch, and leave the females behind? And if I'd been Johnny -- and a seahorse, that is probably what I would have done. LOL

In the end I couldn't stand fighting over the custody of my eldest son like he was a piece of property nor could his father. We both eventually allowed his parents to take custody and became visitors to our own child.

With my youngest I didn't make the mistake of becoming married - thus avoiding a nasty divorce - and became a single mom. There wasn't a fight because I gave his father all the access he wanted.

Now I'm an empty nester and I truly don't know what to do with myself. I've been scared to mess things up or feel too much for a very long time. Been celebate the bulk of the last dozen years. And I hate confrontation.

But some days, when I'm feeling down, I wonder how I managed to create so much chaos in spite of it all. One day someone might come along and it will all make sense. Until then I'm just looking for someone equally mystified to hang out with.

Maybe we'll stumble upon the answer accidentally like two mad scientists let loose in a lab. Hope so. Because there's got to be something bigger and better than this.

IMO I don't 'do drugs'. However I do smoke marijuana and I am picking up where I left off in applying for a Compassion Card before life interrupted life.

The meanings I saw in the movie Snow had far more to do with how the lead character grew up to marry someone just like his mother - and how the cycle continued as he awaited his daughter's visits - than it did anything else.

Age between 45 and 55
Live in Canada
Live within 75 miles.