Hi. Thanks for stopping by. I was recently told that my profile was too boring and didn’t showcase the “real me” so I’m changing it. Why don’t you grab a seat, this may take a while. People like me because I’m funny. That’s it. I’m not very tall or thin. I’m not particularly attractive. I’m just funny. If you are looking for the Marlboro Man, then you have my permission to leave now. If you enjoy laughing until you pee, then keep reading. Anyway, back to me. I own my own home, I have a college degree, but I don’t dance very well. I have a 4 year old daughter who is the light of my life. She likes to dress up in Disney Princess outfits and she enjoys drooling on her pillow. I have a really fun job that keeps me busy, but my schedule can be flexible. I like to eat out at nice, and not so nice, restaurants. I have horrible penmanship. I love to travel and have been to exotic places like Aruba, Costa Rica, and Utah. I drive a really cool sports car to compensate for having a small....you know.

My ideal woman should walk upright, have most of her teeth, and enjoy being spoiled. She should be educated but not stuffy. She should be confident, but not arrogant. She should be independent, but not Chinese. If I sound like someone you’d like to get to know better, send me an email. I promise you won’t be bored!

I like to talk alot, so a movie is never a good idea for a first date. A nice lunch or dinner to get to know each other usually does the trick.

Must not do drugs
Must not be married