This could either be a roaring success or a complete and utter disaster, but here goes!! I could try to write what you want to hear and what makes me sound fantastic, but i'd rather just tell you a little about me as the rest can be found out quite easily when we chat and you can make your own mind up!

So...I'm 44, separated, lived abroad for 15 yrs waking up to sunshine every morning yet decided to come back to the great british climate...So I'm a bit mad as well!!

Don't suffer fools gladly and will never judge anyone unless I have walked a mile in their shoes! I'm told I have a wicked sense of humour,yet I'm mature enough to deal with what life throws my way.

Like most people I love travelling the globe, I enjoy going out for meals, being with friends,I'm not a big nightclub person but the odd lively night out can be good for the soul and can make you feel alive!! especially when having a drink or two or three...watching films etc all the normal stuff, but must admit to having a weakness for the footie whether it be at the 'theatre of dreams' or beyond... I will follow!!

As for women I'm not looking for the perfect one just the one that's perfect for me, so I don't want to list all the things I look for, because for every box you have ticked, there are boxes left un-ticked.
I believe after a lot of soul searching that we need to be flexible in our approach because if you only do what you've always done, then you'll end up with what you always got in the past!!
But I'm still looking to find my soulmate, the other side of my coin so to speak, some may say its a foolish and worthless quest, but i have to give it a go.
Life's too short not to try and I'm definitely not coming back this way, so as they say.... Love as though you have never been hurt, sing like no-one can hear you, dance like no-one is watching and make love like you're being filmed!
Take care and hopefully chat soon!

Now that you've claimed you like football, he asks you to explain the offside rule!! I hope this gets you out of your sticky situation........

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!

See.......It's not that difficult really!!