I guess this is where I try to sell myself. I’ve been told I’m intelligent, witty, caring, compassionate, good looking, smartly presented and a general all-round star (thanks mum). The down-side is that I’m a straight white male, so that’s three reasons why I can’t dance.

To be honest I'm not 'looking' for anything, which might sound like a strange thing to say on singleandlonely-dot-com. If I find my true love then that's great, if I find only new friends then that's good too. I'll take life as it comes, rather than having preconceived ideas about what it should be giving me. If I’m honest I don’t seem to have much luck with the fairer sex. This is probably because they feel intimidated by my good looks and sophisticated manner (that’s how it works in my mind anyway, the truth may be somewhat different). In any case I guess I'll see what happens.

After a couple of years in Leeds I'm now back down south. Near Peterborough/Cambridge. For now at least - I seem to have left my heart up north. I should probably point out that I'm not much of a pub-clubber. I’d rather spend my time listening to a band in some gig-pit, or sampling fine beverages in c o c k t a i l bars (can you believe they censored the word c o c k t a i l?!), although the South seems rather lacking in both.

I guess my perfect partner would be loyal, compassionate and caring, know her own mind but not be inflexible, enjoy deep and meaningful conversations as well as pointless banter, love going out and staying in with equal measure, and be a raging nympho too (well I am still a man after all). Just because I'm rushing headlong into my 30s doesn't mean I'm desperate to settle down and buy a people-carrier. But then being dragged to Gatecrasher by a Nuts mag model would be comparable to Dante's seventh circle of hell. If you’re in Girls Aloud then I’m afraid I don’t fancy you, sorry. I’m a generous type but I’m not going to buy your affection (there are women that make a career out of that sort of thing). nd if u can rd dis den dnt bovva. Having said all that I realise no one’s perfect so I guess I’m looking for a girl, preferably with a pulse, but it’s not essential.