Do you drink?
Often (>3 times/week)
Marital Status
Prefer Not To Say
Profession
Management Consultant
Do you want children?
Prefer Not To Say
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Interests
| This is where you sound really interesting or really sad lol | | |
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About Me
I am not looking for a strong relationship, unless you are a very special person and then who knows really!! But I enjoy living, I have recently been working in many countries across europe and now need to start enjoying life away from work more and meeting and chatting to like minded and interesting individuals. I believe life is far too short and so live life to the full. I like being outdoor's and trying new challenges. I like conversation, just walking and socialising, oh and I adore those zanny types of people who are mad, complicated or at least interesting and are smart and witty. I am certainly not smooth in reality but I am polite with good manners and charm but nothing special.
Now some good useful advice below:
1. "Eat before shopping. If you go to the store hungry, you are likely to make unnecessary purchases."
2. An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
3. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
4. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
5. People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
6. Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it and throwing in some used plasters, before jumping in.
7. A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
8. An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
9. Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender, with the simple inscription "Same to you".
10. GENTLEMEN. Gauge the outside temperature using a 'plumometer'. Open your flies and dangling your plums in front of an open letterbox. If they shrink it is cold outside, if they go baggy it is warm, and if they remain the same size it is the same temperature outside as it is in the house.
NOW HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED A GOOD INSULT FOR THOSE OFFENSIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE. WELL SEE BELOW! CHOOSE THE INSULT TO MATCH THE OCCASION:-
1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
3. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
4. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
5. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Your job must be to spread ignorance
8. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
9. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
10. You should need a license to be that ugly.
11. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
12. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
13. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
14. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
15. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
16. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
17. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
18. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
19. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
20. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
21. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
22. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
23. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
24. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
25. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
26. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
27. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
28. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
Interesting Facts
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. ( Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did the govt pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....?,Who cares) (now you know... Bet you still don't care)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
A****oach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)
Did you know that when people squash a****oach by standing on them, as they are self sexing they then walk the already fertilised eggs everywhere which is why there are so many of the frightening things around.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) ;-)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too)
After reading all these, all I can say is...d*mn Pigs
Disclaimer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reading this profile may make you laugh or may enlighten you even. However please be aware this profile can make you tired if you are not used to reading such long and bizarre profiles. Please continue reading at your discretion.
First Date
Meet in a public place for a drink and perhaps something to eat and whoever you meet show them some manners and be courteous at all times. It doesn't cost anything and even if there is no attraction why hurt people or be rude to them. Everyone has feelings.
Sexysmooth45 Appears on 17 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
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