At first glance I may appear to be like any other humourless, black, gansta vegetarian. You're Wrong!
I’m a spontaneous person who loves to squeeze the life out of everything...ooops that's not how the saying goes...!

I work hard and I play hard. Give me a company credit card and five minutes to pack, and you’ll see. If you're fresh outta jail and looking to start a new life full of fast, clean legal fun, I'm your guy. I'll fix your car but I wont be your wheel man. I'll help you move, but not help you move a body.

My turn-ons are:
Making it through an evening without being asked to show my ID and stealing glances at Sexoholics Anonymous meetings.
And neo-Amish people who mistake me for Denzel Washington

My turn offs:
People who Google my arrest record.

I'm looking for a relationship based on honesty and trust, as opposed to the ones based on aliases and assumed names. I like relationships that last at least until breakfast.


Head games? Sure I love them. Pictionary, Mindtrap, Scrupples, Trivial Pursuit, take your pick!

As you can see, I like to surround myself with humour, except at funerals and court proceedings. So if you take life too seriously, move on.
But if you're reading this far then you share my acerbic sense of humour and I wanna hear from ya, except if you're from Nigeria and looking to launder some cash.

Want to know more about my wild adventures? Wanna be part of them? Then send me a message!

Hmmmm...I was debating whether Venice, Cannes or Paris would be better for a first date.
Either way I dont care.

But if European foods make you flatulent, I understand. We could do something more local and less formal. We could just cuddle up in my Snuggy and enjoy some burgers from my George Foreman grill and some snacks from my Slap Chop.