This is a mandatory description and the part everyone says they hate the most. I think I will just lie still through this part and perhaps no one will get hurt.

I guess I am just a man with feet of clay. I'm a single father with one son in college and another one who will start soon. I am ready to ship the eldest back to the dorm right now. It was hard to let him go at first, now it is strange to have him come back and be recalcitrant and mule-ish and so sure that he knows everything. I really shouldn't complain, the chances are good that I was at least this much of a heartache to my parents. What goes 'round, comes 'round.

IT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD TO BE EARLY TO BED AND EARLY TO RISE, BUT IT MAY NOT HAVE MADE ME HEALTHY, WEALTHY OR WISE. I want my deposit back.
(I should have found a job that doesn't have me getting up at four in the morning.)

PLEASE NOTE THAT I TRIED TO STOP AT THIS POINT, but I am required to have a longer description to BE EVEN BE ALLOWED TO post a profile, so here goes...

I LIKE TO BE OUTDOORS AS MUCH AS I CAN...OFTEN IN MY SALSA GARDEN WHERE I GROW EVERY INGREDIENT FOR SAME. THEY SAY THE RECIPE has improved over the 30 years I've been working on it. I'll let you be the judge, but is hard to beat the taste of anything that was growing on the vine earlier that same day.

I LIKE TO CAMP AND HIKE AND TAKE MY CANOE or boat or kayak OUT ON THE RIVERS. I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO WHITE-WATER RAFT THROUGH THE GRAND CANYON AND TO SHOOT OTHER RAPIDS ON THE COLORADO, BUT THAT IS CERTAINLY NOT SOMETHING I DO EVERY DAY. AND I MAY NOT BE DOING THAT AGAIN ANYTIME SOON SINCE MY KIDS ARE GETTING TOO OLD TO HUMOR MY WHIMS.

I LIKE TO PLAY FOLK GUITAR AND SING AND WRITE SONGS AND RECORD IN MY BASEMENT STUDIO. YEARS AGO I PLAYED IN A BAND-DUO-WHATEVER. WE USED TO PLAY THE LOCAL COLLEGE TOWN CIRCUIT. I STILL WRITE LYRICS AND SEND THEM OUT TO CALIFORNIA FOR MY BEST FRIEND TO PUT TO MUSIC. IF NOTHING ELSE, IT'S NICE TO HAVE A CLOSE FRIEND FOR THAT MANY YEARS.. IT LENDS SOME BALANCE.

I DO HAVE TO REVEAL THAT I HAVE MORE SERIOUSLY ADDICTIVE HOBBIES THAN JUST MUSIC AND GARDENING. I SPEND ENTIRELY TOO MUCH MONEY on the HORSES I RUN ON THE FAMILY FARM IN SOUTH MISSOURI. MY DAD KEPT A HERD ON THE ACREAGE, BUT WHEN HE DIED, I BECAME AN ABSENTEE OWNER BY DEFAULT AND I HAD TO WINNOW THE HERD DOWN. (SOMEONE EMAILED ME FROM Plenty Of Fish ONCE AND SAID THAT I REALLY HAD NO RIGHT TO EVER COMPLAIN, BEING A RICH BOY WITH HORSES AND LAND AND STUFF.) I GUESS I SHOULD EXPLAIN THAT I HAD TO BUY THE FARM AND SUCH OUT OF PROBATE, and that I DON'T EVEN OWN A REAL SILVER SPOON. SO THERE IS NOT MUCH CHANCE THAT I HAD ONE IN ANY ORIFICE AT BIRTH. I HAVE TO WORK FOR A LIVING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

OK, OFF THE SOAP-BOX. I'M ALSO FASCINATED WITH THINGS AVIAN. WHEN IT IS COLD OUT AND I'VE GOT THE WOOD-FIRE GOING IN THE CABIN IN OZARK COUNTY, I LIKE TO SEE THE CARDINALS AND CANARIES EATING IN THE SNOW OUT ON THE PORCH. THIS YEAR A COOPER'S HAWK KNOCKED DOWN A MOURNING DOVE RIGHT OFF THE STEPS. IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF WILD KINGDOM, (BUT WITHOUT THE COMMERCIALS FOR MEN WITH HAIR LOSS AND/OR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. TALES OUT OF SCHOOL, AS THEY SAY IN THE HILLS.)

THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

Anything outside is preferable, but a cup of whatever at a musty bookshop or a meal at someplace outre and unforgettable will do if the weather is too bad for a walk in the park. Fair warning, I have been accused of being rambunctious and adventurous and musically inclined, (I do play folk guitar AND can carry a tune in a bucket.) And I can be tempestuously creative at times. And putting quirky things in my profile certainly cuts down on the number of responses I get. There is, however, not a misogynist bone in my body, and I am not a hitter. What do you call a Pacifist who will only fight to defend his offspring? That is the person I aspire to be.

Well, as the kids said in the 80's, it's all good. Or at least it all pretends to be all good.


HUMOR BEING THE BEST MEDICINE FOR STODGY DIATRIBES such AS I have COMMITTED ABOVE thus far, (AND FOR EVEN MORE STODGY DATING SITES LIKE THIS ONE...MAY I PRESENT...)

GRANDPA K's RULES FOR SUCCESSFUL ROMANTIC ENDEAVORS.

1.)NEVER BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW. (But if it is too late for that,)then
2.)IF IT'S MESSY, EAT IT OVER THE SINK. (And if you've already bunged that up too,)
3.)ALWAYS DATE WITHIN YOUR SPECIES.(If not within your genus, Genius!)
4.)However, first cousins are still verboten no matter how much you seem to have in common with them other than the family reunions. I will admit that Grandpa did raise melons, did eat them over the sink, and in marriage he did bite off more than he could chew. At least he took his own advice on not marrying anyone less than once-removed or I might look more like a bit player in the movie Deliverance.

SO THERE!