| | when you close your eyes, do you resent the night? it's a breeze. when you pause in the day, do you imagine me, in your life...? a fresh start? i've seen you look my way a hundred thousand times, with a question on the edge of your tongue.
i was addicted to online gaming for years and spent thousands of hours playing. it affected my health and cost me friends. while many of them settled down and solidified their pecking orders, i allowed myself to drift to the fringes, and eventually into obscurity. several years ago, boredom would have driven me out of the house in the evenings and forced me to socialize. now, boredom with the outside world keeps me in front of my crack-pipe of a screen. in fact, i am literally surrounded by screens. it's some sort of voluntary media overload; paying attention to several things at once (or trying to).
i have regained my health and i still greatly enjoy some outside activities like travelling, but at this age of my life travelling either by myself or with a female companion are the only forms that interest me. gone are the days of travelling with the guys and the obligatory banter and one-upmanship. now it's simply annoying.
all things considered, i am enjoying this stage of my life. i have almost no worries and i know that one day i'll look back on this time and think of how good i had it.
good luck to all of you in your searches. don't settle for cr@p.
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