Drive-Thru ATM's have braille on the buttons.......Anyone else see a problem here?

If you don't plan on going clubbing and ice fishing in the same day, then don't wear Ugh's with skirts. Eskimos don't bump n' grind......

Two wrongs don't make a right......But three left turns do!

That Dow Jones guy sure is moody.

Why do people drive on parkways, and park in driveways?

It's not necessary for Kamikaze pilots to wear helmets.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it actually means.

You know you're nations economy sucks when food joints are stingy on the amount of ketchup packets they give you.

Bums will be able to collect money via debit and credit card in the near future.

I choose my grocery stores based on the ones least likely to have someone sitting outside the exit, waiting to ask me for money or sign me up for something.

I'm starting the movement for Men's Suffrage. One day, we too, will be able to get in bars and clubs for free.

'Thank you' waves in traffic can make the difference between ensuring faith in your
fellow man, or me hiring an assassin to make you sure you never disrespect again.

Even after nuclear war, Chuck Norris jokes will continue to live on.....

All public locations should have a slow walker and fast walker lane. But those that form huddles in the middle of the Target aisle should be put in front of a Roman Candle firing squad.

Anyone who has never been a server or other food handler should be required to work as one for 6 months. After, you'll realize you're ranch dressing for your fries is not that freakin' important.

If Transformers existed, the Bowflex would be the most badass of them all.

If you cough or sneeze, cover your mouth. If you covered your mouth, don't shake my hand or offer me a Mentos.

One-sixth of the countries prison budget should be invested to help regulate the jackasses that wanna make loud comments during movie previews.

Unless you're Amish, everyone nowadays has caller ID. For the love of God, no more voice mails over 3 seconds.

As time runs out for those advanced in age, movements should get faster, not slower.

If you don't have the will to disciplne your child, those that have to deal with your mistake should be allowed to suplex them when necessary.

A half hour of sex will burn ~150 calories........Cancel your gym membership and find a date.....

By the year 2017, American's will have 8 frickin' garbage bins to take to the curb on Thursday morning.

The Grammy's should have the 'Biggest Douche' award, which will be presented by, and awarded to, either Kanye or Diddy.

Hell hath no fury like a woman's ability to score a free drink.

Halloween is the only time it's appropriate to be a 'Sexy Nun.'

Pogs are the one hit wonders of board games.


And for those who want to get up in my business, here ya go.......I attend Musician's Institue in Hollywood full time, studying drums and audio engineering. Meanwhile, I work part time as a technician and maintain a healthy, low drama lifestyle, and therefore am very selective as to what, and whom I let into it. I'm a smartass. I like the girls that can dish out as much as they take. I like attractive girls just as much as the next guy, but beauty is common. Good energy, a good outlook, and a good self image are the key factors here.



The End

I'm all for dressing up and going to dinner. But that's not a first date thing to me. Too serious, too formal, too quick. I'd much rather take someone to the mall with me to play with all the cool things in the stores and, of course, people watch.....the world's unsung past time. Afterwards, maybe top it off at a coffee shop or ice cream parlor. I mean c'mon, who the hell doesn't like ice cream?

I know it says above this box, "The longer your description, the more likely it is you will get responses," but I can't list everything I would do, because that kills the spontaneity of a first date. I'm all about that!