I am dim-witted, boring, and clueless. I hate to laugh, and people with a sense of humor annoy me. I am frightened and intimidated by intelligent, strong, independent men, and I usually end up crying and frustrated when I am around them. I have no talents, interests, or hobbies, and spend most of my time watching TV. I never have an original thought, believe everything I am told, and depend on other people for every aspect of my existence. I look much older than my age, probably due to my unhealthy, self-indulgent lifestyle. I get tired opening the refrigerator. While I do not hate children and animals, I seem to feel better when they are not around. I think sex is totally over-rated, and I intend on remaining celibate for the rest of my life. I am very high maintenance, requiring all of your time and attention, and I love to argue, whine, and complain. I am stunned that I have never been featured on Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" segment. Oh, and the pictures on my profile are of my sister, but I kind of look like her.

On com'on - don't tell me you BELIEVED all that?! Assuming you are still reading and haven't blasted away from my profile like a missile leaving the silo, please do not report me to POF as unfit to date! I'm JUST KIDDING - jeez!

Okay, so if you are still around, please continue reading to learn all the truth that's fit to print about me :)

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I'm looking for a special man; unique, dynamic, fun - someone who thinks out of the box, intelligent, kind, sweet, romantic. You know, it's really all about chemistry, which is hard to predict. Let me try and give you a flavor, a vibe, about me:

I subscribe to the theory "question authority." I am interested in understanding the nature of reality, personal motivation, spiritual disciplines, mind/body approaches, learning and growing on all levels. Fitness and health is an important part of my life as well. I'm a member of Mendez Boxing in Manhattan, where I train regularly. I have done some sparring, and love to be in the ring! I am a precious metals investor as a hobby, and am interested in the state of the economy.

At first blush I may seem like the girl next door, but for anyone sticking around long enough to scratch beneath the surface you'll find I am interesting, have depth, and that I am a little off beat (in a totally benign, non-threatening kind of way.) I love to laugh, and enjoy anyone with a good sense of humor. I consider myself dependable as a tire iron, yet can say or do the unexpected. I am a strong, independent woman, yet love a protective, take-charge man. I am more of a listener than a talker, yet I have no problem speaking my mind when I have something important to say. I am affectionate and loving, yet need some space to myself. I have a bold, dynamic personality wrapped in a soft and yielding demeanor. Happiness and laughter are my default emotions. I am the quintessential sidekick, and you'll find it hard to be down or depressed around me. I can lead or follow with ease and aplomb.

I'm not into drama or head games. I am emotionally and financially stable. I do not enjoy confrontation or arguing. I will be your rock, your refuge, your safe harbor. I'm very affectionate and love holding hands, snuggling, kissing, having you put your arm around me.

I'm looking for someone special to hang out with, date, be friends, see where it goes. But ultimately I am looking for a long-term relationship. I'm attracted to dynamic, strong, decisive men with open minds, people who can laugh and enjoy life. NOTE: YOUNGER MEN PREFERRED.

Additional Note: Apparently I need to include this clarification - I'm not looking for an "intimate encounter," as POF so euphemistically phrases it. If all you want is sex, then please, don't bother contacting me. My goal here is to find a relationship based on mutual respect and trust, shared interests, love and caring, and of course sex is a very important part of all that. But I'm not looking for one-night stands or hooking up just for sex. Thanks :) Oh, and one other thing - if I've given you my phone number but we haven't met yet, please do not call me for phone sex - you will not get a warm reception.

*sigh* In an effort to reduce my wasted time, and yours, with all due respect and my best wishes for a better tomorrow, please take note that I'm not interested in engaging if you are an emotional cripple, are financially destitute, cannot speak English, or are grossly overweight. While I have been forced to lower my initial lofty expectations, I refuse to lower the bar. Perhaps my headline should read, "WANTED: AFFECTIONATE, HUNKY YOUNGER ECCENTRIC GENIUS TYPE WITH A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR AND A BIG HEART."



*Headline Disclaimer: I reserve the right at my sole and arbitrary discretion to substitute the word "some," "many," "one," or "none" for the word "all" in this statement.

I've learned the hard way it's best to have a first meeting in a non-confining public place, doing something that isn't an all-day type of event, just in case you suddenly feel the compelling urge to get the HELL out of there! (I once had someone I've never met suggest we go on an all-day river cruise. He's obviously never had a bad first date - lucky man!) Going to dinner or lunch, coffee or drinks, would be nice.