[UPDATED PROFILE, Sept 4/08]
I'm hoping to meet a man who'll appreciate my noir humour and my poet/horror-writer view of the world.

You're curious yet patient, open to learning from and to sharing with someone who is just as flexible about life in general as you are.

You're younger than I. (Sorry, but I tend to think of men of my own generation and older as family or "just friends.") You've a vivid imagination; you're funny; and you're wise. Would be a bonus if you're taller than I am, I like wearing heels.

I write, so I read a lot. I like to play cards, shoot pool, go bowling, dine at a fancy restaurant or order in a pizza (with or without anchovies). I like kids. They seem to like me, too. I sing in a church choir (mezzo soprano). I'm an animal lover. (Used to breed show dogs.) Don't own any dogs right now, but I have two Siamese cats who were my Puppy Trainers so they are "kewl" kitties.

Please don't contact me without providing a photo as it creeps me out corresponding with someone I can't see: a combination of being watched by a voyeur and going to Confession in that little cubicle with the dark screen between me and ... whomever. (Don't forget the genre I write in, eh?)

[NEW STUFF ... ]

Okay. So that's all the external stuff that y'all wanted to hear about. Right?

This is what I really want:

I don't want to get married or live with anybody. I'm not completely rejecting the possibility, I just don't want it now.

What I want is somebody to go to a movie with once in a while; somebody I can drag along with me to church choir dinners and dances -- my choir seems to have lots of dinners and fund-raising events and other excuses to get together and socialize. I'm okay going alone to these things. I'm okay going alone to anything. Doesn't bother me a bit, but it'd be nice just the same to be able to dance with a honey instead of dancing with a bunch of women at these things. Also, I belong to two writers' groups and there are a couple of socials each year that it would be nice to bring a friend to. (And they really aren't that boring, you know. You'd be with me! And I’m pretty funny most of the time.)

I want somebody to go on walks with, especially walks in the bush so I can get my spirit renewed by being close to Nature. It would be a bonus if walks in the bush renewed his spirit, too. (I don’t own a vehicle.) I'm a highly spiritual person, yet not the least bit religious in the “organized religion” sense. The closest label you could pin on me would be New Age, but that’s not a tight fit either. I have a strong ethical sense which can sometimes be annoying: means I won’t back down from what I feel is Right. (For example, men living with their wives or girlfriends need not apply.)

I want somebody I can spend time with a few times a week, talk with when I've had a sh*tty day; I want somebody who realizes that they can unload to me too, when their day has been a less-than-peachy one. I want somebody I can have lazy or fun or mind-blowing sex with, but on an exclusive basis. (There’s nothing that will erode the mood like that niggling worry not so much about who was he with last, but who was she with last? That goes both ways.)

I want somebody who won’t run for the exit because I love him. And I will eventually love him deeply, unconditionally. I do my best to treat everyone with equal respect and compassion. That’s what Love is, after all. And speaking of respect, a friend used to say that if two people respect each other, everything else will fall into place. So I want someone who respects himself first, then me second. That is so basic and so simple it’s not easy to remember to do it. Always. Compassion does not mean pity, it means “there but for the Grace of God go I.” There’s something been going around in emails lately: “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” That about sums it up.

I don’t like to travel. I’m a homebody.

I don’t need anything fancy. I survived 19 days out in the boonies east of Ottawa without power during the Ice Storm of 1998 and I know what a person “needs” to survive. Everything else is “want.” Yes. What I’ve listed above are all wants. But there are some days when they almost become needs. I’ve been through some relationships that have dragged me through the pits of Hell and through some that have taken me to the heights of Heaven. I’ve had the good ones die on me -- or be impossible to start with -- and have often rebounded by snagging a bad one out of self-pity. But now I always wear my Big Girl Panties. You show me yours ... and I’ll show you mine.

I'd like to start out, at least, by following the rules, so I'd prefer to meet somewhere public for a coffee -- well, water in my case, I get totally buzzed on caffeine unless it's disguised in chocolate. Once I get comfortable with you, I wouldn't mind us veering off in interesting directions. Together. (Photos taken June, July, and August 2008.)

Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Must not smoke