I've been trying to decide how to best describe myself and I keep tripping over my sense of humor. I'm sorry but the generic stuff, nice, funny, intelligent, warm, blah , blah, blah is just too boring. And let's face it, you've read that already in a bunch of other profiles. So instead, I thought I'd share some random thoughts about myself (in no particular order) for your entertainment.

I’m not down to earth – more like, just teetering in orbit. I think that explains my sense of humor. I used to tell people I’m a purple alien that crashed into a chocolate factory and the chocolate stuck to my skin. I stopped telling that when I was about 4 because it used to earn me some strange looks. I recently started telling it again because I missed those looks.

I have been known to advocate for the devil, but not professionally. I may be headed straight to hell, but I’ll earn my way there – not just make a career choice. This isn't a slight against law school graduates; according to my family, I was supposed to have been one. Or was it a Jesuit Priest? Or a naval academy grad…?

I believe that travel is a basic necessity in life because it gives you perspective. I rank it up there with clean air, water, indoor plumbing, AC, craft beers, great wine, wine openers, home cooked meals, good books, great friends, Steven Spielberg movies with John Williams conducting, dark chocolate, Buffett songs at the beach (or well, just about anywhere else), Joss Whedon’s TV shows, and black and white photography.

Remember to always talk about sex, politics and religion (the political sex scandal du jour is always a good starting point) when you first meet someone. They may hate you for it (or love you), but either way, they’ll remember you.

Laughter is a non-sexual orgasm. So tell a joke and get someone off. And don’t worry, God has a sense of humor – trust me.

I hope.

I would like to jump out of a perfectly good airplane one day.

I’m very committed to my family and my group of friends. And for some reason, they are committed to me. Clearly, my family and friends should all be committed.

I love a good debate about well, anything. I'm pretty open minded and I try not to be judgmental. At least not to your face.

I was traumatized by an ice cream incident when I was 9. Thanks to Drs. Ben & Jerry, I got over it.

I won’t try anything once – some stuff will just mess you up.

I’d like to buy the world a Coke. On the other hand, if I had that much money I’d probably do something else with it.

Reality TV shows suck. Please stop watching them. Pretty please. Consider Netflix instead. I am a big fan of renting movies and watching them on the couch, but I also believe that some films simply must be seen on a giant screen as the director intended.

My friends all jumped off of a cliff but I was not going to follow them. But then I tripped.

Read a book that questions everything you believe. It’s good for the soul. A great book is one that you can return to again and again. A classic book - well, sometimes what's good for the soul can also be boring.

I’ve tried not to tell you too much because once I start writing I have a hard time stopping (well, I may have already proven my point). I rant and ramble in emails to my friends – and am occasionally funny. But even if you miss the funny, if I’ve kept you from doing some “real work” then I’ve done my good deed for the day. If I made you smile today – then good. Thanks for visiting. Drop me a line and perhaps we can chat or meet some time. I’ll bring the wine. But only if we meet – keyboards and phones react poorly to wine. Go figure.