PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Ladies, I DO smoke occasionally but I am quitting; UPDATE - from a pack (20) a day on August 1 to 1 (rarely 2) a day on November 8; almost there. If this is a deal breaker anyway, don't continue. If you're still interested (you should be), but have your "filters" set to nonsmokers only, you'll have to make first contact. Likewise, if I live outside your distance requirements, but you're interested, you'll have to send me a message first.

When my ex reinvented her life, I wasn't part of the new design. So here I am, looking for love (notice I didn't stutter or find alternative wording; I'm also comfortable with communication and commitment, but still have a bit of a problem with the "honey, we need to talk" thing - I am working on the resultant jello spine, however), laughter and sharing (everything but the toothbrush; be convincing and probably that, too). While my profile indicates dating, I'm open to a long term relationship if things progress to that point, and am equally open to being a very good friend if that's where it leads.

I'm loyal, trustworthy, articulate, easy going and laid back (check my pulse every now and again). I'm a very good listener (if you need to vent I don't take it personally or hold a grudge more than 6 weeks, 10 tops) and despite the testosterone, I do have original thoughts from time to time and can follow most of your conversation even if you don't talk real slow. I can be serious if necessary but prefer a more mellow mood with little drama (everybody has issues and drama in their lives - if you don't, go to the E.R. so they can resuscitate you - but keep it under control). If you're halfway presentable, it's a bonus for me. I'm not a "hottie" for sure, but you wouldn't be embarrassed to be out and about with me, either (I couldn't find any fake pictures of washboard abs to post so what you see is what you get). I am retired from the U.S. Air Force where I served as a medic; I am currently employed and also help take care of my elderly parents.

I do have one very serious vice, and that's NFL football (yes, that means NFL Sunday Ticket on DirecTV). During football season, I may be peripherally aware you're around, but might not acknowledge you with more than a "Don't stand in front of the tube, the pregame show is starting, and for crying out loud, go put your clothes on before the guys get here!" or "Is the pizza here yet? And put your clothes on before you scare the delivery guy!" Anyway, you can have the rest of the year; how's that for compromise?

I'm mannerly enough to always put the toilet seat and lid down (if you find them up, I can almost 100% guarantee it wasn't me). I open doors for ladies and hold their chairs in restaurants. I'm not reluctant to hold hands in public or show anyone who cares to look that I am with someone I care about (that PDA thing at Wal-Mart? They've reconsidered and will let me return to the store if I promise not to scare the folks in the shoe department again). I can boil water (I'm just not a very good cook) and I will stop and ask for directions (if I ever find myself lost, that is - I suppose it's possible that it could happen). I also do a great foot massage (not during football games, though; another compromise you'll have to live with). I DO NOT, however, paint toenails so don't ask.

I'm tolerant of whatever belief or value system you hold. I won't scoff or try to convert you away from paganism (I've met some pretty cool witches) or whatever organized religion you subscribe to (I've also met some pretty freaky Buddhists). Those of you with the ability and resources can get information from their spirit guides, commune with trees, read tarot cards or crystal gaze. The bottom line is that I may not have the same belief system as you, or live it as intensely as you do, but I'm totally fine with and open to what works for you as long as you respect me finding and following my own "spiritual" path. I am more than willing to listen (and hear) while you relate what gets you amped about your own path and learn about it even if I don't embrace it myself so we can discuss it (after all, it's important to you).

I also must confess (no, it's not good for the soul) that I enjoy "Dancing With The Stars", "American Idol" and "So You Think You Can Dance" (my daughter, the Princess, forced the situation by hiding my remote; that's my story and I'm sticking to it). I do not like quiche in any form (not because real men don't eat it but because I personally don't even like the looks of it). Here's another compromise - let ME enjoy my football and YOU can eat the quiche.

I'm looking for women who are intelligent (and not afraid to show it), good sense of humor (but don't beat me over the head with 'lol' or 'lmao' every 12 seconds) and articulate. Knowing the difference between 'complement' and 'compliment' is a check in the '+' column. Using complete sentences and avoiding Internet shorthand ("r u the 1 4 me?") definitely gets my attention and respect. Most importantly, don't try to reconfigure yourself to what you think I want you to be; be yourself because I plan to be. We can work out our balance as we get to know each other.

If you've read this far - you're either bored (go to the library or rent a movie), intrigued (drop me a line, let's get to know each other) or demented (I personally have no problem with you being demented as long as your medication levels have been adjusted for maximum therapeutic benefit and anything that can be used as a weapon is safely out of sight). If something prompts you to learn more, feel free to get in touch (even if we're not "the ones" for each other, we can still be friends and we all need someone to encourage us or return the favor to). If not, I wish you success in finding that special person for you. ** Oh, yes, while I appreciate the good intentions, I am not interested in dating your mother, your sister, your aunt, your cousin, your co-worker, your friend or your neighbor around the corner who would be perfect for me. If you're not interested, I am emotionally secure enough to handle it without being offered a consolation prize. Besides, it's not polite, or wise, to offend someone you're close to (mom, sister, etc.) by implying that their standards are somewhat lower than yours (meaning more desperate for a date). **

One last note...when you contact me (you ARE going to contact me, aren't you?), please have a profile with a picture. If you checked my photos, you already know I'm just an ordinary (funny) looking guy and if you're still reading this after seeing the pictures, you now know looks can fade away but a good personality is forever (or at least until the onset of Alzheimer's). I'm more about personality than looks, but I do like to know who I'm corresponding with. Also, if you add me as a favorite but don't contact me, I will remove you...sorry, I'm not a fan of anonymity.

Okay, you want that moonlight walk on the beach holding hands? Not a problem (although I am confused by this; so many women seem to think guys on dating sites are potential serial killers yet they want to be alone on a beach at night with them; what's up with that?). However, I'm not going to climb Mt. Everest or K2, I'm not going skydiving or running a marathon. Everything else is negotiable (sorry, I don't own a Harley - last bike I was on was a Norton 750 Commando when I was 18 and was almost decapitated by a defective railroad crossing arm, which left me with 2 broken ribs and a torn up shoulder, so I haven't been on a motorcycle since - if you have one, take ME on a roadtrip instead). Come to think of it, grilling burgers while drinking ice cold beer on the beach could be fun (I'm even tolerant enough to let you mess up a perfectly good Corona with a slice of lime).