I put a lot of thought into a great profile but my dog ate it. Here's a different one.

I wonder if zombies select people based on the tastiness/juiciness of their brains. When I read a profile that says 'down to earth' I can't help but imagine there are these people out there defying gravity.

So, random facts, I have a job almost no one has ever heard of. I think target shooting would be fun but I haven't done it yet. I though you could put a monkey above the Seadoo name and see if anyone gets it.

Pointless update: Stupid Stampeders, can't win a game, oy. All of the teams I like have a way of losing lately. If you are a hockey fan and want to watch me boo the Senators, that's a plus.

My mom always said, 'Ryan, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If some strange person offers you a ride, I say take it.' That has nothing to do with anything, I just wanted to share that, and I'm only kidding; I have no parents. I was grown in a lab, that's why I'm shaped like a tube.

Lastly, I am the greatest karaoke star, umm, ever. It's fun being delusional.

Oh, I haven't actually moved to Ottawa yet. I am just talking to people to find out where I should live based on what there is to do. So far I see there are many lakes... interesting.

Well if you are from there you can tell me about your city. When I move I can change this to an actual profile about me, rather than some annoying out of towner asking questions. I guess you could just keep seeing if I changed this to say I did move, but that might make you a stalker and I already have one and I can't pay you both. There's also a chance I'm just fun to talk to on non Ottawa related topics...but I've never talked to me so I couldn't say. That's such a lie; I talk to myself all the time.

Something worthy of exclamation points!!! To be fair to the grammar police, I do have an ample supply of exclamation points.

Must not do drugs
Must not be married