Please read the whole description, if you can't take the time to read it then why should I take the time to respond. After you read it and you REALLY think we could be a match, then email me. I don't expect a response anywhere near as complete, just a hi would be ok for starters, I will look at what you wrote on your profile and decide from there. If you want to be more subtle, put me on your favorites list and I will definitely look at your profile. If I do not respond or I remove you, please don't be offended or hurt because that is not my intention. For the record, I do check my profile but I am not sure if I like this process.

This is much harder than it looks. It is difficult to evaluate oneself. So lets hear from some independent evaluators:

"He is very handsome." - Mom

"He is great now that I can beat him up." - Brother

"I am not sure but I am stuck with him, so I am trying to make the best of it." - Sister-in-law

"He gives great bouncy rides!" - Nephew (At least that is what I think he is saying. He is only one after all.)

So 3 out of 4 of my immediate family think I am alright. So I can't be all bad can I?

I guess the easiest way to get a taste of who I am is some sort of list, then you can be the judge. I trust you will know yourself better than me...

12 things about me in no particular order:

1. I have a wicked sense of humor. It sometimes borders on crass. If there is a line, I try to get right up to it then cross it, by a mile. If you are easily offended, you might have a problem. I won't because I will be laughing too hard but you will.

2. I am completely honest. Others says that this is something they want in a mate/friend but I can tell you from experience it is not true. Most want you to lie to them. "Do these pants make me look fat?" + "Yes" = ex-girlfriend

3. I love all Mens sports. Basketball, Football (especially college), Hockey, Baseball etc. 80% of the time my TV is set to it. Women's sports...not so much.

4. I love rock/metal music. But don't let that scare you. Favorite band: Tool. I also love other types of music too. Anything blues, Radiohead, Björk, Tori Amos, Biggie, Beastie boys, the Chemical Brothers, Devo, N.W.A, Duran Duran, storm and the balls. Music I don't really appreciate: Country (exceptions include Hank Williams and Johnny Cash), R&B, DMB, Phish, Coldplay etc.

5. I sometimes have a mouth like a sailor. http://www.paxacidus.com/why-f*ck-is-the-best-word-pax.php

6. I have an unnatural fear of marrying the wrong women.

7. I am not a good dancer (who could of guessed by my music of choice).

8. I am a stealth nerd. I love cartoons (From old school to [adult swim] to anime. Boomerang and Cartoon network are like crack.), Star Wars, Sci-fi, Graphic novels, comics, computers, iPods, iPhones, old school video games, pinball etc. Aside from an occasional geek-type t-shirt and my dvd/comic collection you would never know.

9. My idea of a vacation is a hotel in a tropical place where a waitress brings you drinks. Camping for a week is not. (OMG, I think I just committed social suicide in Portland with that last statement.)

10. I have friends who are Doctors, Mechanics, Dancers, Waitresses, Firemen/cops; both rich and poor but I like them all the same. I can fit in at a corporate party just the same as I can go to a tailgate party (I prefer the latter).

11. I am totally afraid to post this, since one of my friends might see it and give me a hard time.

12. I am an open book. If you want to know something about me, all you have to do is ask. I am not embarrassed about anything I have done in my life and have very few regrets.

Sounds pretty decent, Right? Well here is where the typical male shallowness starts and after you read this I am sure that my posting will be all for naught. Remember there are always exceptions to every rule. (I feel kind of weird, like I am ordering a car with accessories)

****Updated****

General Guidelines (Ideally):

25 - 33 Age (give or take a year).

Kids. This where I am the most conflicted. I know some very cool single moms but I am not sure if I could ever get serious with them. I guess, it will have to be a case by case decision. If you just want to be friends I am cool with that also. I will wait and see.

Be traditionally attractive, pretty or cute. If you left Portland and went to say Texas, Florida, Georgia or even Ohio, would strangers considered you pretty in all locations.

Be Thin and in shape. Not "A" shape like round but in shape. Please No BBW's, Muffin tops, curvy, voluptuous or rubenesque ladies. No offense but I am a thin guy (6'2" 170) and I don't want to be Jack Sprat. I like legs and flat stomachs, not booty and boobs. Height weight proportionate does not mean 10 - 15 lbs overweight. I don't expect you to be a fitness model, just take care of yourself. The gym, running, sports etc. Be fit.

Have good hygiene. Not showering, dreaded hair, unshaven body parts, patouli oil are not my preferences.

Have style. The "thrift store hobo" look is not a style, it is a travesty. On the other hand, the Prada, gucci, coach, sunglasses indoors look screams high maintenance. Be somewhere in the middle as I can be some what metrosexual and then a jeans t-shirt guy myself.

Good Work Ethic. Everything in life is earned. Please have a job, like what you do and be good at it. I don't care if you are a stripper or a Lawyer. If you are still in college, that is cool too. Have dreams but don't just be a dreamer, be a doer. A cliché but true. I have been with dreamers, it is frustrating watching them talk about the dream but never doing anything to achieve it.

Be adventurous. Willing to try anything once.

Be smart. Being smart is sexy. Acting like you are smart is not.

Bonus Points if:

Being from a foreign country: Australia, New Zealand, Iceland, Germany, Sweden, Finland, Asia, Eastern Block, Japan, just to name a few. (I am interested in seeing a different perspective, I guess). I also have a thing for redheads. I have more but we have only just met and I need to save those for the right time. ;)

Kudos to you for making it this far. If you feel overwhelmed reading it, imaging how I felt writing it.

Date? We just met.

Happy hour or tea would be just fine. That way if things are not going well, either of us can excuse ourselves without any embarrassment or loss of dignity. If things go well then we can make a date...

Female
Age between 21 and 33
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