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| City |
blackwood New Jersey |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Cancer |
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Height | 5' 9" (175 cm)
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| I am Seeking a |
Woman
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Who is Looking
for |
Other Relationship |
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| Smoker? |
Occasionally |
| Do you drink? |
Socially |
| Marital Status |
Married |
| Profession |
Baby Seal Hunter |
| Smarts |
Some college |
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| Do you want children? |
Does not want children |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
All my kids are over 18 |
| Do you have a car? |
Yes |
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Interests
| collecting cans -pandering -torturing small animals - stalking people that read my profile | | |
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| | About Me |
| | Someone asked me what I'm really like and here it is. No, I'm not really broke or insane. Well at least I'm not broke and insanity has many levels. I like art and music and played the drums for many years in clubs. The only sports I really watch are NFL football and the rest mostly bore me to death. I have a 21 yr old daughter and an 18 yr old son. I could say the same thing everyone else says about their kids bla bla - I'll spare you - just read it off of another profile. Safe to say - we all love our kids. I like mostly the same things everyone else likes - eating - drinking - going down the shore holding up liquor stores and beating the homeless. I'm surprised when I see people put down the same stuff as everyone else. I've yet to see someone who HATES going out to dinner and REFUSES to watch movies. I should mention that my sense of humor is warped - severely. If you don't like satire and sarcasm, you're really gonna despise me. It's genetic. If my humor offends you, feel free to let me know and I will make sure to target you specifically.
I know I should find a blog for my rants below as I'm running out of room. Let me know if you find one for me that would be appropriate :)
Cutesie spellings of common names: It started back in the late 70's when every Billy and Cindy became Billee and Cindi. It's one thing when it's a pathetic self inflicted plea for attention but when parents name their kids to demonstrate their "originality" and "creativity" I have a major problem. When John becomes Jahn and Patricia becomes Patrichia it leads to a lifetime of tedious spelling explanations and mispronunciations and quickly turns nice Cathy into easily offended Kaathee. I can only base this on personal observation but I believe Jennifer will probably not wind up a stripper but Jeniphyr very well may.
Nascar and rednecks that get off on it: Unless it's a highlight of a "good" crash, I find it as exciting as watching clothes in the dryer. "And much to the shock and disapointment of the crowd, (insert the name of a famous race car drivers offspring here) turned RIGHT!!! BTW - I may be going out on a limb here but I always thought the best drivers live to the end of the race. 3
Tattoos: If you have one (or many) it doesn't mean I don't like YOU but I don't like them. Tattoos used to mean something and were relegated to people in the military and bikers. Now, every overweight soccer mom has a butterfly on her ass that only means they had $50 of disposable income. When I get tired of a painting on my wall, I put up a new one. They also look worse over time. I knew a guy who had 2 really cool snakes on his arm. 20 years later, they look like sperm from a 9th grade sex ed cartoon. What are you gonna get? Hey I want flames! I want a rose on my ankle! I want a chicken hanging from a noose tattooed on my shin so I can tell everybody my c**k hangs below my knee.
Profiles: I love the "profile liar". Hey, most of the questions are generic and "prefer not to say" means: ASSUME THE WORST and that's fine with me. The only exception is income. Ain't posting that.
It's always the same. If this many people liked long walks, this country would be a lot thinner. And another thing, I've seen some of the pics of people claiming to have an average body type or a few extra pounds. You've gotta be kidding me!!! I think of a few extra lbs as maybe 20 over what you should be. Someone 5'4" tall that weighs 250 lbs does NOT have a few extra lbs and who in their right mind considers them average? Why don't you just go with "prefer not to say". Listen, I'm built ok. Maybe a little better than the average guy my age. I wouldn't consider myself slim, so I went with athletic. Geez let's all just lie on our profiles - nobody will ever know. I'm actually a 6'4" blue eyed millionaire with 6-pack abs. It's one thing to stretch the truth a little but let's not be completely delusional. And while I'm at it, I'm not thrilled about the choices they give you. Do you smoke? They don't have an "only crack" choice. Do you do drugs? One of my favorites - obviously they don't consider alcohol a drug and where is the I'm a ****ing alcoholic choice? Income level? Good one. Religion? They don't have a "depends on the day" response. I like the "Do I have a car" question. They should have "yes" "no" and "I'm Cambodian, take a guess". And my favorite, "smarts"! Just have an IQ test on here and post the score - I've met college degrees - long on words - short on brains.
I find if very funny that people don't want to be msg'd by someone that once msg'd someone that wants an "intimate encounter". Find me a guy that isn't interested in an intimate encounter. Anywhere! Even gay guys! And girls, ultimately, isn't that what you're really after too. I mean if you don't ever want an intimate encounter - why would any guy be interested. I understand wanting to be friends first but if you haven't figured it out by now, WE'RE GUYS - WE WANT SEX!! And guys like me - know that you do too - so don't try to deny it. :Þ And guys that say they aren't lookin for it - well you can feel free to believe them and if you do - I bet I could trick you out of your skirt in less than 10 minutes. Now isn't that romantic?
Honesty and Insanity: Seems all too often the 2 go hand in hand. People always say they want honesty but at the end of the day, you better NOT tell people what you're really thinking. People that are excessively honest are often accused of insanity. I'm really not sure what people are asking for when they ask you to be honest. Excessive honesty can be hurtful and destructive. I've heard people tell me: "I can't believe you said that - your insane!!" We all need to be able to say things with diplomacy at various times but I get tired of it. It's like speaking the language of corporate BS even when you're not in a meeting. I really need to learn how to hold back more than I do though. "Do these jeans make me look fat?" No sweety the jeans don't make you look fat - YOUR FAT ASS MAKES YOU LOOK FAT - DON'T BLAME THE JEANS! ooops. Guess I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I should candy coat it? Sweety it's not that they make you look fat - you're not fat, but they don't fit your wonderful body the way they should, that's all it is. It's the jeans - they're defective. Diplomacy is candy coated honesty mixed with BS. It requires thought and consideration and I've found that most people don't buy it anyway. When it comes to honesty - be careful what you ask for - honesty like insanity has many levels. How honest are you? How insane are you? Whatever your answer is - it's the same answer for both questions and I really gotta work on being LESS honest. I'll let you know how it goes. Oh well - I gotta take a leak oops I mean I need to find a restroom to freshen up. I'm trying :) |
| | First Date |
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hmmm Jello Shots? - Bathtub full of Jello? - I dunno, something that involves Jello just sounds like fun to me. Would sex be out of the question? That's it! Jello shots and sex but only if I find you attractive which might depend on the amount of Jello shots available. If you're still unattractive after a dozen jello shots then we have a problem. Unless you have tequila - just hide your pets and lets hit the bedroom. Sorry about hiding the pets but I don't like to make the same mistake twice. I like to get really creative on the 2nd date. Like...getting drunk and throwing up in Walmart. If you've read to this point, I'm impressed! Not so much with you but with my writing ability. It's hard to be able to hold someones interest for 45 minutes. Due to recent events, I may need to change my name to HeartbrokeAndInsane. By the way if we fall in love and you convince me to leave my marriage...IT MEANS YOU CAN'T SCREW OTHER GUYS!!! |
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BrokeAndInsane has 2 roses that can be sent. |
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