I am tired of bar scene.. drinking watered down drinks and inhaling second hand smoke ...I have all of my teeth and hair...no tattoos or disfiguring scars, and complete control of my bodily functions (except after I eat at Taco Bell)..
I bathe on a regular basis and love my mother...I don't pick my nose or suffer from chronic flatulence...I am not on probation or parole...I am a pretty good cook...at least no one has suffered from searing abdominal cramps after one of my meals...I love to go to the beach...sit in a lounge chair sipping a cold margarita and digging my toes in the sand..although I dont wear a thong bathing suit..I would rather not wear swimwear that I have to remove with a pair of pliers...I love kids..but not in a "Michael Jackson" type of way...
I am a sports fanatic (esp LSU sports) so an interest in sports helps, although I dont expect you to name the entire Saints roster or have won any Olympic medals. I enjoy traveling, fishing, strip solitaire poker, and indoor body surfing... Sorry but I dont care much for NASCAR racing. I just dont see the entertainment value in watching cars going around in a circle all day I just dont get it. Brownie points are easily attained if you like a good pillow fight (I am undefeated). Good manners are always appreciated, If you pick your nose, belch like a truck driver, or suffer from mind numbing flatulence, please seek help immediately. You must have a pulse and be able to speak fluent english.
I am afraid I do not dance, so if you are looking for a dance partner I am not a canidate. Last time I went out dancing someone called the paramedics because they thought I was having a seizure. Trust me, it's not a pretty sight.

I like just about any kind of music except rap and Aaron Nevile (who sings like his testicles are in a vice) I like some country music, but I don't have a dog cage in the back of my truck or wear a dinner plate sized belt buckle.

It would help if you are not presently incarcerated, as this would make getting together a bit difficult, and house arrest somewhat limits dating plans.I am up for just about anything. I dont like to go to the movies on a first date because you cant talk to your date there. Unless, of course, you sit behind me at the movie theater. It never fails. Also, tractor pulls and the Angola prison rodeo usually dont make good first date destinations.
Since I love to cook I could whip up a nice dinner (no Roadkill Helper) and pop open a bottle of wine. I love to go to the beach digging my toes in the sand while sipping a cold margarita. I love to eat sushi (athough not from a bait shop)
Feel free to ask me anything you like. Don't wait for the movie.
You can holler at me at the y hoo. dude_2424