If you are: too serious, religious, uptight or dimmer than a 40W light bulb during a brown-out, then please, please, please don't click on my profile. You'll just end up mad, confused or both. K-Thx!

So... wondering where all the "good" or "real" men are? If you're in your 30's my guess is that they are already married! Which means only the really awful men are left... like me! If only you hadn't been so picky about who to dance with for the slow songs at all those junior high school dances you'd be shacked up with your "solemate" [sic] by now (or be divorced with a side-order of squalling brats if the experience of my peers is the norm)!

It's safe to say, then, that because I am here there is very little redeeming about me. I mean, for my list of pluses I guess I can say that I have my real hair, no communicable diseases and I'm not homeless. I'd also describe myself as "smarter than the average bear", but given that I have done such questionable things in my life as: bought a house in late '05 (gee, couldn't have timed that one any f'in worse, could I?); got in trouble in my wayward youth for manufacturing psychedelics (that ended exactly as you might imagine); abandoned CorporateAmerika to be self-employed, then abandoned that to start a company making crap for electric vehicles (actually, that one seems to be turning out okay..); and worst of all is that I consistently score as an INTJ on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test, so I'm the picture of the stereotypical anti-social mad scientist (stained lab coat not included; some assembly required). Oh, and I'm one of those insufferable morning people!

One other important caveat is that I don't deal well with children, especially young ones. I see them as messy little blobs of irrationality that are expensive to maintain and plagued with warranty problems, so if you have kids (or at least young ones) and the previous paragraph didn't give you reason enough to run screaming for the exits, then this just might do it.

Oh, and I like sex, sure, but I don't feel any particular need to see you on webcam, or send you pics of "da goodz", or launch straight into the "sexy talk" via IM or email or phone (not even if you only charge $0.99 per minute). Actually, I hate IM, so you certainly don't have to worry about me darkening your doorstep in that particular medium.

I am the star in a YouTube video that is surely vying for the least exciting/most soporific award. It's just a quick recording of me testing the 400hp electric vehicle motor controller I designed (okay, I'll admit it was Shake-n-Bake and I helped...). It's a real snoozer, to be sure, but it gives you a more realistic view of just how ugly I am! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0A-h1asLnM

And before I forget, here are my answers to those 4 things we are strongly admonished - in red! - to answer to make sure we aren't wasting our time here:

1) Hobbies: teasing my mutt with plush toys; reading; thinking about whether I could use a few more hobbies.

2) Goals/aspirations: I have reached this year's goal/aspiration, so I'm contemplating taking the rest of the year off.

3) About myself/my "uniquity" (yeah, I made that up): what more could you possibly need to know? Umm... well, okay... I can fly a plane but don't like flying. I used to be a literature snob but now mostly read sci-fi. I don't care which way the toilet paper unrolls or where the toothpaste tube is squeezed. I'm at once the most pessimistic person I know, but with the sunniest disposition!

4) Musical "taste": mine is pretty narrow, I have to admit. I only listen to alternative/indie/darkwave/etc. but not to such an extent that I only wear black clothing *and* eyeliner . I keep up with the new stuff via Sirius-XM radio (favorite channels are 21, 26 and 35, though very rarely I will wallow in the sentimental spectacle that is channel 22 - oooo, another remix of Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love'?!?!).

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N.B. - I've been at this awhile, yes, and have met a few women through here and o k c u p i d, and some have been interesting, even! But I'm still here because online dating is kind of weird/backwards in that you might find a person's profile/pictures really compelling but when you actually meet there's just no click/chemistry/zing/whatever. So, I've learned that this works best if you exchange a few e-mails then get the whole meet-n-greet thing out of the way fairly soon so not too much time is wasted.

First dates are negotiable, but the first meeting (aka "meet-n-greet") should be something very informal, and if my experience is at all representative, at a place with clearly defined exit routes! The stereotypical meet for a coffee or beer is usually a good choice.