Oooh, what an offensive title. If that's what you thought then why the hell did you click on this profile? Save your venom for someone who cares. If it made you smile then prepare yourself...
* Sanctimonious religious NUT JOBS need to LEAVE ME ALONE * 
Don't take life so seriously, we're not gonna get out of it alive! I was born at a very young age and cried like a baby. I'm now older than I've ever been before in this life, go figure. What the hell do you want from me? Please stop yelling...oops, sorry, that was one of the voices. Those bastages piss me off with all their incessant shouting and stomping around...I swear, one of these days the plaster is gonna fall off of the ceiling inside my head and clog up my synapses. You must be this demented to ride this ride. Spank you, and g'night Mrs. Calabash.
Dammit Janet...that was a whole buncha nuthin. Glib sometimes fast talking and definitely quick witted dago rat basturd NYer here looking for an independent low maintenance sorta gal who doesn't mind getting her (short) fingernails dirty. That doesn't mean you can be some scary Mary belching and farting sea hag, just not a girly girl who swoons at the slightest of my transgressions against society. NON-PC and neither a left or right winger...someone who has common sense (which NEITHER extremes exhibit contrary to their addlepated beliefs). Screw the environment, what has it done for ME lately? Did I offend you? GOOD, now go away. If you laughed, marry me!
For some inexplicable reason I've been getting quite a few messages from churchy types...not my cup o' phlegm! The only religious leanings I have are along the lines of "Our Lady of Perpetual Motion" and "Blessed Mother of Acceleration" Believe in whatever you like, just don't expect me to tag along.
And for whatever it's worth (not much likely), I prefer cats to dogs although I like all animals except the for most of the humanoid variety.
Pardon my French but what the phuck is up with all people in this area that say how they love the outdoors....um, WHEN can you go outdoors with this friggin rain? I'm ready to slit my wrists and the heavy stuff hasn't even started yet.
I'm humming The Capt. and Tennille's "Muskrat Love" as I pen this. GADZOOKS! Hello everyone, my name is Schmekel and I have a Disco problem.
I want to take you down to the beaches and rub piss clams on your ass neck...or do the Seattle thing and share some coffee...or go out and get stinking drunk, arrested, and hopefully end up on the next morning news. Or not.
If you ride 2 wheeled motorized contraptions and like boats then you get an extra cookie. By the by, I have several pix for those who dare to contact me. Believe it or snot but I'm actually clothed in them, and no, none of them are of me in a straight jacket...I burned those.
Here's something that will either wreck your world or you might enjoy immensely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE (copy and paste that URL)
PU, er, PS: for those who shive a get, my zodiac sign is actually Cancer...just like a tumor I'll grow on ya.
PPS I loathe, detest, hate and in general don't care much for sports (unless they're of the indoor variety in the dark sans clothes)
