Im a miserable get at the best of times...ive got no teeth i have got bad breath ....terrible in fact....athletes foot.....b.o.......and dandruff......i dont hoover, cook, wash up, the washing or in fact any housework of any description at all.....i will never take the dog for a walk.....i will disappear down the pub at every opportunity, only returning when my beautiful dinner is burnt to a frazzle....i will strip down to my big baggy grey y fronts while in the house watching footy and waiting for my next can to be delivered....i will always compare your cooking to my mothers and you will always come second....playing mummys and daddys will be restricted to a time of my choosing...usually fridays after the pub if i havent drunk too much and the late film on channel 5 gets me going.....the ciggy after will last longer than the sex.......i always have the chair nearest the telly and the fire....needless to say the remote will never leave my hand.....i will never cut the grass ....when it comes above the window sill (bedroom) ill kidnap a sheep or a goat....dining out involves a drive through and i may go mad occasionally and go large ....well it is an extra 30p......you can have whatever you like you will be paying .....i dont do shopping ....carrying a dozen full carrier bags for two miles is good for you.....adequate exercise for me is flicking through the channels......i will always pull a face when your mother visits......and keep it for at least a week......toilet seats are meant to be left up so i am quick and dont miss any footy.....even sport i hate is better than any soap, so we know what we will be watching..... after a day at work my slippers will of course be warmed my lagers chilled and you hot and appreciative.....looking like a million dollars even after a few household chores.....hoovering is restricted to when im down the pub.....you can go out as often as you like as long as its to asda, tescos, sainsburys or the local offy for me .........housekeeping ...is available at the rate of a fiver a month....if i see receipts for the preceeding month.....well i think thats about it for now ........thats for the timewasters on here who at the moment i think are the in the majority....if you want to know the real me then message me....i wont message first again ever .....blame the timewasters....bye for now
P.S. if you do message me please dont forget your sense of humour its a must
P.P.S. i fancy another rant so here goes....please dont message me if you have pics on here of you with your wobbly bits hanging out ....there are other sites for that type of thing ( so ive been told).....and does any lady really like having a glowing testimonial on their profile.....it does nothing for me apart from making me ask myself if they are that nice why isnt the bloke(s) who wote it with them ???
i like to form my own opinion thanks....bearing in mind one mans wife is another mans mother in law !
thats all for now but im sure ill think of summat else soon.
thought of something.....yes i do try and paint watercolours and yes i do love quizzes but im not an anorak more of a cagoul.
And another thing does any lady out there fancy going halves in opening up a video and wine shop, we could make a killing, there must be alot of square eyes about and bad livers ? byeeeeee x

swinging of the top of nelsons column in the middle of winter during a hail storm naked singing ave maria or unchained melody just for the hell of it and to see if the pain and my fear of heights helps me get the high notes