I'll add more, but here is something I wrote that kinda speaks from my heart


I am writing to you because you know me. We are not that different. Each day I get up early in the morning and drag myself out of bed. After a quick, warm shower I grab a snack and run out the door to a cold world. For it is December and the snow covers the ground. But that is not the degree of temperature I meant to relay you. No, the world that welcomes me is one of fast moving, hard working, self-consumed people. Where each breathe is not your own, but it belongs to someone with more money, class, and qualifications. Each step you take is meant to further your belongings in a world where no one really belongs. No matter how hard you try to help, you are only hurt. No honest answer brings honest results On the contrary an honest answer is mocked for its' naive nature. Its' uneducated childlike behavior. It has been made quiet clear to me that a truthful response has no place in this world of getting ahead.


I am writing to you because this world has it's hold on my life. It tells me what to think. Where to go. How to be aroused. Who to care about. Who to mock. That I am never enough. Who to hate. To trust no one. To love no one better than myself. To believe in nothing I can not see and touch. And to not question why at the end of the day it all is meaningless without Jesus!


Meaningless, Meaningless, Absolutely meaningless without my Jesus. See my friend. My life has been meaningless without Jesus in it, in all of it. The times when I feel the most fulfilled are when I am doing something for my Lord. The worst things I do to myself has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus. I have built a whole separate life without Jesus in it. And that life is meaningless. In fact the only thing that even allows that life to survive is Jesus. Not because He loves what I do to waste my time. He loves me. Without Jesus as my savior, my fears are real. My hopes are no more. My dark secrets are no more. The only truth in my life is Jesus. Only serving He brings me the joy and fulfillment I desire.


I am not writing to you, dear lost soul. Because you already know who you are. You have found Jesus and recognize your need for a savior. I write to myself, that I never forget that I would be lost if not for Jesus. If not for one, many would die. For many, one has died. And for me one has risen again and lives. What more could I give. Only my time will tell of my love for him. Am I living, for Him?