Special Features of this product include:

-Excellent auditory receivers,
-A built-in tip calculator,
-A collection of argyle and striped socks to go with any outfit,
-Matching left and right feet unafraid of a dancefloor,
-Independently-moving eyebrows,
-And a fondness for the unknown

Act now while quantities last!


AND NOW SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
So many profiles seem to blend into the webwork, I think I'll mix things up and describe What I'm NOT: (in Italics)

I absolutely adore the club scene, and honestly think the best way to dance and meet people is to get packed together like tuna, and shout at each other in the dark. I'm truly impressed at how courting rituals have evolved into me rubbing up against your backside, with little or no warning. If I'm feeling particularly thematic I might thump my chest and try to feed you a banana. I have no idea what a double-entendre is.

I revel in my own ignorant bliss; new ideas, people and places generally terrify me. I'm happiest living in my comfortable little box and utterly refuse to think outside of it.

My favourite part of the city is the abundance of concrete, as I am generally afraid of all things green, particularly the outdoors. I've been self-diagnosed with herbophobia, which is why I can't handle any seasoning other than salt, maybe pepper if I'm feeling outrageously adventurous. Rumours of me owning my own wok, griddle, food processor, hand blender and knock-off George Forman grill are vastly overrated.


So if you have actually made it this far in my profile and aren't hopelessly confused, we may just have compatible senses of humour ... at which I point I should list the other qualities I'd find in my ideal partner. That would be someone who:

-is intelligent and witty
-is pragmatic, yet can still be silly
-is strong-willed, yet likes to compromise
-believes the finer things in life don't have price tags
-strives for a holistic perspective
-never says If it ain't broke don't fix it, because there's always room for improvement
-has a strong moral compass
-insists on being treated like a queen, without acting like a princess
-politely excuses herself when she gets a phone call; I can do chivalry if you can do courtesy
-will charge the dance floor with me when Groove is in the Heart comes on
-won't get weirded out if I break out into a spontaneous rendition of Peanut Butter Jelly Time
-thinks high foreheads are sexy
-has a bigger sex drive than me (it's more fun trying to keep up)
-has a pet unicorn?

Chapters and a foo-foo coffee? I'm more of a medium, double-double man myself, but I've been known to enjoy the odd hot sundae.