DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking -ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - b i t c h
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay


JUST WANT TO FIND A WOMEN THAT IS TIRED OF BEING ON HERE LIKE MYSELF AND WANTS A REAL MAN, THAT REALLY WANTS TO KNOW HOW WAS YOUR DAY AT WORK AND WANTS TO BE WITH HER W/O SMOTHERING HER AND LET HER DO WHAT SHE HAS TO DO IN HER WALK OF LIFE. SOMEONE TO SHARE THAT SPECIAL MOMENT WITH, WHEN THERE IS GOOD NEWS ABOUT YOUR WORK OR A PROMOTION, AS WELL AS BE THERE IN YOUR CORNER WHEN THINGS AREN'T GOOD,THAT SHOULDER THAT WE ALL NEED SOMETIMES TO LEAD ON.

THERE ARE TRULY PLENTY OF FISH ON THIS SITE,BUT SO MANY WOMEN ON HERE SEEM TO ONLY WANT PERFECTION, THAT I AM NOT, NOR IS THAT WHAT I AM SEEKING, IF YOU WANT TO LAUGH AND HAVE FUN WITH SOMEONE THAT'S NOT AFRAID TO LAUGH AT HIMSELF AND SEE THE HUMOR AND GOODNESS IN OTHERS THAN WE NEED TO TALK (IF NOTHING MORE), BUT IF YOU LOOKING TO FIND THE NEGATIVE IN ALL THINGS YOU SEE IN & AROUND YOUR UNIVERSE THEN, YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTACT ME-I DON'T NEED THAT IN MY LIFE AND NEITHER DO YOU...NO DRAMA!

DIVORCED FOR MORE THAN 3 YRS. NOW AND WELL OVER THAT UNION, NO HANG-UP'S NOT LOOKING TO BE A REBOUND BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR NEXT MAN OR EX MAN, I DON'T DESERVE THAT AND NEITHER DO YOU. I AM SO TIRED OF GOING ON 20,000 FIRST DATES AND EITHER I'M NOT FEELING HER OR SHE'S NOT FEELING ME, BOTTOM LINE IS I DON'T WANT TO LOVE A THOUSAND WOMEN, ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOVE ONE WOMAN A THOUSAND TIMES (MIND OUT THE GUTTER). HOPELESS ROMANTIC...WAITING TO SOMEDAY MEET HER/YOU...........THE 1!

***UPDATED 11/15/09 IF THIS LINE APPEARS ON YOUR PROFILE AND I'VE OPENED YOUR PAGE, I CAN NOT SEND YOU A EMAIL FIRST- "YES" I DID SUBMIT TO A PROFILE ON THIS SITE THAT SAID "INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS" AND FROM THERE WAS PLACED ON THE HOT LIST-DID NOT WILLINGLY KNOW AT THE TIME, BUT I DID IT-I AM HOWEVER A SINGLE HONEST MAN AND DID SO AGAIN AFTER I FOUND OUT-MY POINT IS, I AM LOOKING FOR A L.T.R.-BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH KEEPING THE CAR POLISHED, CLEANED & WAXED UNTIL THE BIG TRIP...PLEASE DON'T TRIP-THAT'S REAL RAP
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex

BORROWED FROM "CALLMESTEFF"

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking -ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - b i t c h
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry (Blk Man's) = Babe can you fix my something
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! (B M's) = Damn those are some big @$$ ti**y's
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you (B M's)= Let's get something to eat then, let's have sex!
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay