Wants to build the world's largest hot tub.

Is diametrically opposed to condiments.

Thinks pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.

Believes tequila is best savored, not gulped through a test tube sold by a woman in a tube top.

Loves s'mores. Loves feeding s'mores to those who love s'mores.

Frequent user of incomplete sentences.

Thinks pleated pants and golf shirts make great kindling.

Would sooner drink Jon Gosselin's bathwater than wear one of those colored dress shirts with the white collar.

Thinks shoes are a reflection of a woman's personality.

Loves taste tests. Thinks food and sensuality share the same DNA.

Loves coffee in bed.

Wants to cuddle on a couch while covered by puppies and bunnies at sunset in the rain after a long walk on the beach that was preceded by swimming with a pod of dolphins and mermaids.

Thinks jealousy is for wimps.

Has been described as outgoing, incredibly sexy, virile, rich, powerful, strong as a herd of elephants and most importantly, humble.

Loves when deep-tissue massage produces twinges of pain.

Doesn't understand the modern-day mullet.

Thinks the Shamwow guy is soaking up his soul, not cola, with that towel.

Works out at least 384 times per week. Probably more.

Loves to travel. Been through Europe. Lived in Hong Kong. Dying to visit Prague.

Loves motorcycles. Appreciates how riding a bike sharpens the senses, a zen experience like punk rock, but without the punk. or the rock.

Thinks dancing, flirting, women and mystery are the best recipe for adventure. A Mystery Machine van with a talking dog help.

Knows that there are as many types of men as there are breakfast cereals. Can be tough to decide between Cheerios, Oat Bran and Cap'n Crunch.

Thinks women should run the world.

Thinks confidence is the sexiest attribute of all.

If you made it all the way to the end, you get a prize.

We could:

Sit in a giant vat of cold Roosevelt dimes.

Lounge on a back porch and eat Betty Crocker chocolate frosting straight out of the can.

Loudly slurp coffee at Dominican Joe's, a coffeeshop quieter than most funeral homes.

Have goldfish nibble on our toes.

Visit stores on 2nd street, pretend to be tourists and ask questions in a made-up language.

Decide who is the greatest game-show host ever while mixing Pop Rocks and Coke in our mouths (just to see what happens).