Ok, ladies, here's your golden opportunity.
I'm 38 and unemployed. I really hadn't planned on getting involved in a relationship, but my Step-Dad is having his mobile home repossesed and I will no longer have a place to live.
I'm not looking for a job, nor do I plan to. Milking the government seems to be working just fine for me.
Online video games take up all of my time, so basically I don't cook or clean either. I am a level 10 Grand Wizard in the gaming community. For those of you who have no idea how difficult that is, please move on, you're not worthy.
I'm looking for someone who will cook, clean and finacially support me. I have a lot to offer in return.
There's not much I enjoy outdoors. Occasionaly I'll venture outside, but prefer to sit on the couch with a bag of pork rinds and a big gulp. Hygiene is not a priority. Sports are for fags and music is annoying. I don't like children and don't enjoy laughter. Children's laughter? Ugh...don't get me started.
You should have a rather large house because my vast collection of Star Wars figurines take up an awful lot of real-estate and my 29 cats do need their individual space. Being rich is preferred, but being hot is a must. I can be rather picky.
Come 'n git it girls, this one won't last!

A nice, quiet satanic ritual in the woods.